zbrodnia katyńska

zbrodnia katyńska
by Schmutzie
04/11/2010, 1:09 PM #

On September 1, 1939, just a week after the Molotv-Ribbentrop Pact, the Germans invaded Poland from the north, south and west. Both Britain and France had assured Poland that any aggression by Germany would be met with attacks by both of those countries against Germany. (Polish-British Common Defence Pact, Franco-Polish Military Alliance) Instead, Britain and France did essentially nothing to defend Poland, and that inactivity has come to be known as the Western Betrayal.

The Polish army retreaded to the east.

Two weeks later, on September 17, the Soviets came in from the east. When the dust had settled, Poland had been overrun, and the Germans and Soviets controlled the entire country.

The Soviets had rounded up something like 250,000 (estimates vary) military POWs in Poland, but had released around 200,000 almost immediately, those being Ukrainians and Belarusians. And so by March 1940 the Soviets held around 40,000 Polish military or "intelligentsia" POWs. These POWs were then "interviewed", the interview being essentially an audition to save your own life. If you were seen as something of a "nationalist" or a "counterrevolutionary"...you were sent to a camp in Ukraine or Belarus.

In March 1940, Levreniy Beria, prominent member (eventually head) of the Soviet secret police, the NKVD, sent a letter to Joseph Stalin suggesting that 26,000 or so Polish prisoners of war be executed. Beria argued that such action should be taken in order to deplete a future Polish army of leadership, although in addition to the Polish military officers and soldiers being held in Western Ukrainian and Belarusian prisons, Polish "itelligentsia" such as lawyers, doctors, authors. poets, writers, teachers, priests, and journalists were included in the list of those who were to be whacked.

Stalin agreed as did the Politburo.

The executions began in April, and took place simultaneously in prisons, camps, and in one case a forest.

The Katyn Forest lies about 12 miles west of Smolensk, Russia. It was there some of the 26,000 were taken, and shot. It is said that one man, Vasili Blokhin, of the NKVD, personally shot 6,000 men over the course of 28 days. The killings went on day and night, and they only took a break for May Day.

For a long time, the Soviet Union denied any "Katyn Massacre" ever took place. They covered it up, and then tried to blame the Nazis. In 1989 Russian scholars had dug up enough shit in the old archives to confirm the truth, and in 1990 Mikhail Gorbachev finally admitted that the atrocity had indeed taken place, and acknowledged the existence of two other mass grave sights, Mednoye and Piatykhatky.

The Katyn Massacre was a rallying cry for the Solidarity Movement. I have heard stories of the Katyn Massacre for years. Stories that make you want to fucking puke. Imagine Soviet soldiers lining up 3 or 4 Poles front to back, and shooting the man in front in an attempt to save bullets. 4th guy still standing? Well, he becomes the front man for the next stack.

The horror of Katyn is part of them. You need only say that one word, and faces grow very sad. It's like "Pearl Harbor" or "9/11" to Poles.

It was 70 years ago, and Katyn was the reason Polish President Lech Kaczyński and 96 others were flying to Smolensk. They were going to visit Katyn memorials.

Chicago has the largest population of Poles outside of Warsaw. Up on the northwest side, well, trust me, there are lots and lots and lots of Polish people living up here. In early May, on Constitution Day, these maniacs run up and down Milwaukee Avenue with their horns blowing and their flags waving. 5-6 people jammed into a sedan, and having a hell of a time just driving around waving that red and white flag with the eagle on it. You'd think a wedding was going by with all the horns, only they're just sitting at a stop light laying on the freaking horn. It's kinda cool to see. These cats know how to party, and they are proud of their heritage.

Back in 2000, at St. Adalbert Cemetery, about 5 blocks south on Milwaukee Avenue, a monument was erected to the victims of the Katyn Massacre. The work was done by a Chicago sculptor named Wojciech Seweryn. Serwyn's father was one of those murdered in Katyn Forest. Wojciech was one year old in 1940.

I stopped by St. Adalbert this morning, and paid my respects along with dozens of others. The Polish flags were at half mast, and there were flowers all around the base of the monument.Hundreds and hundreds of people had been coming since yesterday, not only to remember the 70th anniversary of the massacre, but to honor Wojciech Seweryn, who was also on that plane.

The Key Passage

The Key Passage
by Schmutzie
03/03/2010, 9:38 AM

In the middle of one of his multi-purpose Fraywatch gang replies, our intrepid moderator squeezed out this little tidbit...

Re: When invitations are deleted
by JeremyTheModerator
03/02/2010, 5:22 PM #
@IncogNeato (02/18/2010, 12:43 AM) I remove all of the "posts which are racist, sexist, obscene, abusive, post other people's personal info" that are reported to me (except on a number of self-regulating boards that are entirely insulated communities and impossible to get to unless you know where you're going and pretty much what you're getting into - and even there I remove racist/sexist/homophobic language when its reported to me). One of the major benefits of the new system is an improved moderation platform, so if you like to comment on more subjects, but don't like to be subject to abuse (which often goes unreported, and thus unseen in the Fray), then you're a lot better off commenting in the new system.


Bold is mine of course, but I think that piece of news from Jeremy merits analysis.


Botf, Procrastination, Shameful Conduct, and whatever board I happen to choose for the next phase of the Great Geezer Experiment, are essentially the wild fucking west in Jeremy the Mod's eyes. Unless you say things like nibber, wunt or paggot. Then he'll do his job and actually moderate....for the time being.

So it's okay, on these "self-regulating" boards, to mine personal info and then post the name of someone's daughter, as long as you don't call her a wunt.

It's okay to lie, on these "self-regulating" boards, about a poster being the subject of a restraining order, as long as you don't call him a nibber-lover in the process.

It's okay to post a link, on these "self-regulating" boards, to a poster's real life name, as long as you don't say, HEY EVERYBODY this paggot here finished fourth!!! on Sale of The Century.

And it is perfectly acceptable to make up a false set of nursing credentials, to spam these "self-regulating boards" with daily insane rants, to post private e-mails sent by other posters, and to lay a fine glaze of scummy residue over an entire front page, as long as you don't say those naughty words while doing it.

In other words, on these "self-regulating" boards, it's not what you say, it's which words you use to say it, that are important to Jeremy the Mod.


Obviously, by allowing Nurse Betty to remain, in the face of overwhelming evidence that she should be banned, the Mod has sent a clear message that Slate wants people to choose the new Kit as a means of posting comments on Slate's articles, and the Fray as we all knew it is as dead as disco.

"Flaming Posse"

"Flaming Posse"
by Schmutzie
01/23/2010, 3:33 PM #

A screenplay by Schmutzie.

Directed by Alan Smithee.

Setting- Fairplay, Colorado. The year is 1867.


Cast-

Davey- A lonely poet who lives in the hills. Married 9 times, Davey is growing increasingly dissatisfied with the women in his life.


Deanna- An elderly divorced school teacher who spends her days teaching creative writing to the children of the town in a one-room schoolhouse. At night, she goes to the Spittoon Saloon and flirts with men. She has a fondness for Civil War veterans.

Dr. Archie O'Donnelly- One of Colorado's leading scientists. A recently released book by a man named Darwin has changed Archie's life. He finds himself ostracized by the Church of Fairplay, and he has come under attack by the local preacher during his Sunday sermons.

Father Joey Vittles XII- The 12th Vittles to serve as Fairplay's preacher, Joey teaches the people of Fairplay that the Holy Bible is the one true word, and that anyone who disagrees with him will be struck down with smallpox, then the plague, then rickets, then scurvy, and then finally he says, "You will burn in hell!"


Judge Frank Early- A man who has very little patience for the people of Fairplay, whom he sees mainly as a bunch of rubes. He dispenses justice with a fair hand, and spends his off hours hunting the elusive coyotes.Hangin' Frank they call him, and it is said that he once sentenced a man to 60 days for farting in court. Frank likes to go commando under his robe.

Myra Deepwell- A crusader for justice who dispenses free legal advice. Deepwell's efforts in cases like Deepwell v Illinois in 1873, and later her appeal to the US Supreme Court pave the way for women lawyers everywhere. Despite losing both cases, she presses on and becomes the first woman admitted to Illinois bar in 1892, before moving back to Fairplay where she eventually is elected Mayor. She enjoys riding horses and playing something she calls "lawn tennis," a sport she discovered while traveling on the Continent.


Marshall Ike Darrow- A wry sort of man, with a quick gun and quicker wit. He doesn't enjoy the killin', but his skill has forced him into the job. He'd rather out-argue than outdraw, but the local cemetery is littered with the corpses of those who chose to draw down on him. He used to work at the gypsum mill, and his paper on desulfurization caused a change in the industry. Ike grew bored with gypsum, and took up law enforcement after selling the copyrights to his gypsum deselfulization paper to Henry Bryan, owner of a small Minnesota mining company.


Jimmy Laredo- An old, dimwitted, pot-bellied gunslinger who has seen better days. Once the 317th fastest gun in Texas, he now spends most of his days eating beef jerky, and his nights flirting with Deanna at the Spittoon. He hates Marshall Darrow, and has sworn he's going to gun him down. Jimmy hasn't seen his penis nor his toes in 15 years, and his XXXXL gun-belt was custom made by the local saddle maker.


Jenny Laredo- Jimmy's wife.

Western Belle- The local madam. Belle runs an honest brothel, and makes a pretty penny on the side playing cards with the drunks at the Spittoon. She has recently emptied the pockets of Jimmy with a royal flush to his pair of threes. She knew he was bluffing the whole time.


Morning Dove- Formerly one of Belle's girls, who traded her black lace garters for a pair of overalls. Dove is the the first woman west of the Mississippi to own 4000 acres, and spends most of her time raising horses. Recently wed, Dove is a no-nonsense type, who will kick a man in the balls if he calls he "darlin'"

Dr. Jay- The Fairplay physician and Morning Dove's husband. The townfolk call him Rambunctious J. He specializes in treating gunshot wounds, but also believes that the "human mind is capable of amazing healing power." Davey the lonely poet likes to throw rocks through Dr. Jay's office windows out of spite and envy. (Davey longs for the attention of Morning Dove.)

Michael Masterson- A Civil War vet who carries with him dark memories of the conflict. He longs for peace and quiet, and lives in a ranch on the outside of town with his wife. He is the object of Deanna's almost obsessive attention, but wants no part of that. He is a married man, who is faithful to his wife. To him, honesty is everything.

Helen- A deeply disturbed woman who lives in a small cabin with 13 cats. The only time Helen comes out of her cabin is to shout obscenities at the passing stagecoach.

Tupelo Tom- A transplant from Mississippi who runs the local eatery. His recipe for flank steak is kept in a strong box in Marshall Darrow's office. Tom is a deeply spiritual man, who believes in tolerance of all faiths, and is therefore hated by Joey Vittles XII. Vittles has condemned Tupelo Tom to hell, which caused Tom to pray for Joey Vittles.

Keistus- The Fairplay blacksmith. A man with the power to crush a human skull with his bare hands, but who uses his power for good. Keistus lives with his wife and daughters, and enjoys trips to the seashore. Since the seashore is 2 weeks away by coach, Keistus looks forward to his first train ride on the newly laid Overland Route.

Nomo Isonista- A latin beauty who writes for the Fairplay Fair Player. Her 5 part series on outdoor living and recreation won the Colorado Outdoor Living and Recreation Award for outstanding writing. Nomo loves her family, travels extensively, and enjoys swimming in the nude. Her moonshine is said to be useful for removing rust from wagon wheel axles.


Smithers- A local farmer who built a log cabin using only his hands. His tomatoes are much sought after, and it is said that the hemp dungarees he makes can also be used as heating fuel. Once a year the entire town of Fairplay (except for Jimmy Laredo who has never been invited) puts on their finest and turns up at Smithers' cabin for "BLT Day." Smithers serves up what he calls "Bacon, Lettuce & Tomato sandwiches" and mason jars full of Isonista's moonshine before the big square dance. It's always the event of the year.


Lobo- A transplant from the Arizona Territory. Nobody knows much about Lobo, although he has an abiding love of his country and looks forward to trips into the mountains with his family. He had an eye shot out in the Mexican-American War and was an original signer of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.

Monducmo- The bartender and owner of the Spittoon. Keeps a sawed off shotgun under the counter. Never cuts his booze. Once was asked the difference between whiskey and whisky to which he replied "Whiskey is Hibernian and whisky is hibernating in Scotland. Have an Irish whiskey here, or have a whisky there."

Seamus O'Dublin- Writer and cooper. His barrels are said to be the finest on earth, and he ships butter churns, hogsheads, firskins, rundlets and puncheons to places as far away as China and Johannesburg. Quality is his trademark, and it is said that he will smash a hogshead if it's off by so much as a quarter of an imperial gallon. His writing is his passion along with his family, and woe to any man who threatens either. Legend holds that he once held a hungry wolverine at bay for two days using a single barrel stave,.. at one point in the standoff his father sipped a pint of Guinness and asked "What's taking so long? This procrastination is postively criminal ya gobshite. Kill the damned thing and let's eat!"

Other characters-


Tartan Tim- The editor of the Fairplay Fair Player
Shocked Quartz- One of Belle's girls.
Heartful Gold- Another of Belle's girls.
Brilliant Blondie- Golden haired owner of the dry goods store.
Thank Goddness- One of Ike's trusted deputees.
Don Toronto- Transplanted Canadian fur trapper
Elizabeth "Bitty" Tweet- Author and part-time bouncer at the Spittoon.
Jackson Dee- One armed lawyer who defends horse thieves and cattle rustlers.
Dr. Nome- Fairplay dentist, Alaskan transplant who left in protest of Seward's Folly.
Sorvus- Stagecoach driver
Simon Freud- Fairplay treasurer, and poker dealer at the Spittoon.
Schmalz- The town carpenter


"Flaming Posse"



Act I- A dark, run down cabin on the hill. Davey looks into a broken mirror.

Davey- I hate you.

(Davey puts a gun to his head and pulls the trigger. The gun misfires. Davey begins crying.)

Act II- Late night at the Spittoon. Smoke filled room. Keistus is playing rags on an old upright piano with several missing keys.

Jimmy Laredo- I'm tellin' ya Lincoln had it comin'! Next thing ya know them darkies'll be a votin'. Hiya hot britches. What's yer name?

Monducmo- You ever going to pay yer tab Jimmy?

Jimmy- My wife has all my money. I'll get you next time. C'mere Deanna. Anyone ever tell you that you've got beautiful eyes?

Deanna- Oh Jimmy. You are such a gentleman. How about you do that thing for me tonight?

Jimmy- If I told ya once I told ya a hunnert times, I don't do that.

(Deanna walks away dejected. Ike Darrow enters. Jimmy stares at him with fire in his eyes.)

Ike- (sniffing the air)- I swear Jimmy, if I didn't know better I'd think we were in the midst of a desulfurization run. Dear god man, don't you ever bathe?

Jimmy- I took me a bath on Monday you rascal. If I wasn't wearin' my Sunday go-to-meetin' pants I'd take you outside and teach you a thing or two.

(Jenny Laredo enters the bar and sees her slovenly husband flirting with Deanna. She runs out crying.)
Jimmy (to Deanna)- Aw don't worry 'bout that one. She'll get over it. I keep her fed n' watered. I'm a fine upstandin' husband by my definition. Gimme a kiss honey...uh, you did gargle right?


(Jimmy sees Ike turn away and, intending to shoot the Marshall in the back reaches for his gun. His arms can't reach that far, and his fingers dangle at his side a good 8 inches from his holster.)

(Seeing this in the mirror behind Monducmo, Ike wheels around and draws his Colt.)

(Jimmy pisses his pants, a smelly yellow pool forming between his boots. Keistus stops playing and, expecting a shootout, dives behind the piano.)

Ike- Seem to be coming up a bit short there Jimmy. Why don't you back away real slowly, and I won't shoot you full the dense, ductile, very malleable element known as lead.

Jimmy- Huh?


(Ike smiles and walks up to the bar. He sits down on one of the fine oak O'Dublin bar stools.)

Ike- Whiskey if you please, and send one to the carpenter over in the corner.

(Monnducmo delivers the whiskey to Schmalz, and tells him it's from Ike. Schmalz looks over at Ike and nods his appreciation. They hoist their glasses and toast from across the room.)


To be continued....

The Fray Mutiny

[click image for a better view]

The Fray Mutiny
by Schmutzie
08/06/2009, 11:03 AM #

What a vile creature. What a snake in the grass, that Lt. Tom Keefer.

Always there, but hiding from plain sight. Lurking in the shadows, afraid of the light of day.

Lt. Tom Keefer's behind the scenes meddling was the source of much misery in Herman Wouk's book, The Caine Mutiny. Misery for Capt. Queeg, and misery for those who fell for his mind games. Many thought Keefer was looking out for the good of the Caine, and considered his advice when he urged them to relieve Queeg of command. Keefer called Queeg a "textbook paranoid" after Queeg ordered a top to bottom search of the vessel to locate what he was sure were some missing strawberries.

Initially they were reluctant, but when confronted by a terrible storm, Lt Stephen Maryk and Willie Kieth (the first person narrator in the book) finally acted on Keefer's advice, and siezed control of the Caine. They were charged with mutiny.


At the trial, Keefer testifies that he had no role in the "mutiny" and implies that he tried to talk Keith and Maryk out of taking over the ship. A classic coward captured beautifully by Wouk.


Only at the end, and grudgingly, does the lawyer Lt Barney Greenwald trash the career of Queeg in order to protect his client Maryk. He breaks him down on the stand until the only thing left were 3 stainless steel ball bearings. Greenwald feels much guilt for breaking a lifetime naval officer, but he had to protect his client.

In the book, Greenwald shows up at Maryk's celebration party, drunk. He unloads on Keefer in front of everyone, telling them of Keefer's about-face on the stand. He then throws yellow wine in Keefer's face (the symbolism a reference to Queeg's nickname Old Yellowstain) and calls Keefer the "true author of the Caine Mutiny." (In the movie, Jose Ferrer as Greenwald throws what looks to be a martini.)


You just knew it had to happen. It was only a matter of time, and the only question was "When?"

Well now it's all out there isn't it?

The martini has been thrown in Keefer's face so many times here that I'm surprised Tom can even see.

This would be a good time to exit the stage Tom. There is no smoothing over this one. You have been exposed by one of your former shipmates. The disgrace is total, and if you have any dignity left you'll pack it in your seabag and head for shore.

You are the true Yellowstain.

schmutzie

Stimulus

Stimulus
by Schmutzie
02/25/2009, 3:46 PM #

I posted this earlier, but pulled it because I felt like I paid too much attention to Bobby Jindal. I've reconsidered, and decided that I paid about the right attention to that twit. He's considered the fresh new voice of 47% of the voting population, which means about 47% of the population are idiots. I should have added Palin, Steele, and Huckabee to my list of up-and-comers who make the future look very bleak for the Republican party. An outfit that casts out a guy like Crist, and embraces yappers like these people clearly does not understand the zeitgeist concept..


Went to Grant Park on November 4th, and I don't think it's a stretch at all to say I witnessed history. Temps were in the mid-50s, which in and of itself was, frankly, bizarre. I think everyone there was optimistic that Barack had a good chance at victory, but the optimism was guarded. It was very edgy for the first couple of hours, due largely to all of the media predictions about swing states being critical and hotly contested. It was entirely possible in the minds of a sizable percentage of those 200,000 people, that Barack Obama might lose to John McCain.

Then, the damnedest thing happened. Pennsylvania went to Obama a lot earlier than most people in the park (and in the country, I suspect) expected. The looks on people's faces began to take on that weird "Is this shit really happening?" sort of appearance. It was a palpable shift. The buzz in Grant Park started right then. We all knew, it was going to be at the very least, a close election. You could feel it. I saw people literally hopping up and down, their hands clenched into fists. Not fists on anger or violence of course, more of the "don't know what else to do with my hands" expression of expectation. Hope.

Then, Ohio went for Obama, and that place went friggin' nuts. Bedlam. Never seen or felt anything like that before in my life. An enormous adrenaline dump. Everyone in Grant Park who'd been following the election numbers closely knew right then and there. Barack Obama is going to win. A glance at the board, some simple California calculation, and it became clear. People began screaming. Crying and laughing simultaneously. People were slapping perfect strangers on the back. We had to wait for the polls in Cal to close, and their 55 electoral votes to be cast but that was a foregone conclusion. A formality. No way Obama loses California. Bottom line from that night is that Barack Obama kicked John McCain's ass in the swing states, and that's why he's our president. Middle America, working class America, the center, call it whatever the fuck you want...their voices were heard on November 4th. Obama took the middle.

When President-elect Obama gave his acceptance speech that night, I think it left some people feeling a bit let down. Not me. I wasn't expecting the rock star speech. He didn't need to give a rock star speech. He gave a speech that spoke of hope, change, the challenge ahead, and the need to get to work. Just the speech he should have given I thought.

While Louisiana Governor Piyush "Bobby" Jindal may disagree, I think the speech President Barack Hussein Obama gave to Congress last night was more of the same. Hope, change, challenge, let's get to work, we can do this thing.

Just what we need to hear. Certainly not one of his rock star speeches, but boy can that cat string together coherent sentences. What a refreshing change to have a president I can listen to, and admire. Just the right man for the job at hand.

Jindal's complaints about the stimulus package, including increased funding/extensions of unemployment benefits for the people of Louisiana, are more than "counter-intuitive", they're just plain stupid. Not too sure what planet Jindal is living on, but I'd suggest that bringing up the government's massive failure in the wake of Katrina was also a bit of a misstep on his part, maybe more than just a bit of one. Part of what I wrote about the day after Grant Park dealt with the mountain of shit that the Bush administration left for the new administration to clean up. Jindal does understand that it was his party, the Republican party, who controlled the Executive Branch for the last 8 years, and who blundered on such a catastrophic level, doesn't he? What part of "change election" does Jindal not understand?

Whatever, screw Bobby Jindal. If he's one of the up-and-comers in the Republican party, that party has problems.

I have to say, that between Grant Park and the inauguration, some things occurred that had me feeling a bit tentative, a little less hopey. Blago and Burris, Richardson, Daschle, Reid and Durbin (cough morons cough)....it almost seemed like Obama wasn't going to get out of the gate.

But, then I watched that cabinet parade out last night, and it occurred to me that this is a formidable bunch of large-brained individuals. This could be a good team. And then I heard the dude say...."Madam Speaker, the President of the United States!" ...and I watched a young, articulate, energetic man from Chicago take the podium, and deliver what I think is one of his best speeches ever.

Hope, change, challenge, work to be done, we can do this thing. Let's get busy.

We elected the right guy. For me, it's just now sinking in.

Da Machine

Da Machine
by Schmutzie
12/17/2008, 12:22 PM #

As I read yet another reference to "the machine" in Chicago politics yesterday, and a half-assed attempt to connect Rod Blagojevich's scandal with business as usual in Chicago, I was tempted to tell the poster that he obviously has no clue what he's talking about, but I refrained because there's really no reasoning with people who argue for fun, especially the self-righteous kind of person who argues for fun.

The post itself was uncharacteristically brief for this particular poster, simply a link and an off-the-cuff remark about "loving Chicago politics." A clear tip-off that there is no substance to an argument is brevity and poor follow-up.

I understand some people have a burning need to be seen as clever, and feel a need to have an opinion on any hot topic, but seriously, if you don't have an informed opinion....maybe just shut the fuck up until you educate yourself. When it was pointed out that Springfield is where the Illinois governor's mansion is, the poster opined (out of his ass) that the way to get to Springfield is through the Democratic party in Chicago, and "the machine."

Our previous (corrupt, and now in jail) governor George Ryan is a Republican. I already posted something about this piece of human excrement, so I won't go back into that. Ryan served as Illinois governor between 1999-2003.
Former governor Jim Thompson also a Republican, served for 14 (1977-1991), the longest term in Illinois history. Thompson and Richard J Daley, the man behind "Da Machine" were enemies.

Jim Thompson has been both Chairman and CEO of Chicago legal giant Winston & Strawn, and was the driving force behind the firm's decision to comp $10million in legal fees defending the despicable George Ryan.

Dan Webb, the enormously talented and highly respected prosecutor turned defense attorney was lead counsel, and that was at the direction of Jim Thompson. Thompson is also a director and head of the Audit Committee for Hollinger International, Conrad Black's little enterprise, now under investigation by the SEC. I always considered Thompson to be the kind of corrupt politician who is smart enough to keep the real dirt at arm's length, but my sources tell me that he did have some peculiar tastes in late night companionship.

In the last 31 years, Illinois has had 18 years of Republican governor. So much for the argument that to get to Sprinfield you need to be cozy with Chicago Dems.

Jim Edgar, a Democrat, was the gov between Thompson and Ryan (1991-1999). Edgar is seen across the state as a real straight shooter, and has a career untainted by any scandal (outisde of the goofy decision to declare an L Ron Hubbard Day)...or connection to "the Chicago Democratic Machine." Edgar sparred regularly with Richie The Corrupt Daley over the issue of bringing a casino to Navy Pier. Richie The Corrupt (John Kass calls him Mayor Shortshanks, which I absolutely love) wanted that casino so badly he could taste it, but governor Edgar wouldn't play along.

Another example of Springfield having a mind all its own, and another 8 years of Springfield not being cozy with Chicago City Hall...go figure.

Incidentally, speaking of Springfield, that's the home district of Dick Durbin, our senior Senator.

Which brings me to Blago, and "the Chicago machine."

Blago's connection to Chicago's City Council is through his father-in-law, Richard Mell. They hate each other. The Chicago "machine" is not behind the corruption charges now facing Blago. Apparently living in Ravenswood is enough for the uninformed types around here to simply toss Blago into the Chicago hopper, but that's just a lazy man's attempt to sound clever. Rod Blagojevich doesn't enjoy, nor has he enjoyed, the support from the Democratic party in Chicago, or Cook County for quite some time now, so that pretty much buries the Springfield/Chicago machine connection for good. It's a myth.

Pat Fitzgerald has been investigating Blago for over 2 years. The initial investigation centered around a few players, namely Tony Rezko, Stuart Levine and Rod Blagojevich, who were trying to shake down Illinois hospitals, and the contractors involved in expansion plans for those hospitals. These hospitals were located in places like Crystal Lake, a far northwest suburb, and Naperville out in the southwest. Neither of those examples fall under the influence of Chicago's City Council, or Cook County's Board.(since neither are in Cook County) There are numerous other examples, but I think you get the idea.

Springfield corruption is totally seperate from Chicago corruption.

When this Blago scandal broke, and I posted about it that morning, I immediately suspected Tony Rezko pointed Fitz in the right direction in hopes of lessening his upcoming sentence. I still think that.

Rod Blagojevich's corruption charges can be traced to one thing. Greed. Blago's approval rating in Illinois was at 13% BEFORE his eBay auction for Obama's vacant Senate seat, and now hovers around 7% which is astonishing in and of itself. The reason Blago was making this wild-assed cash grab is because he knows (or knew) that come 2010, he's out of a job. You've probably heard the word "radioactive" connected with Blago in the last week or so. Very true, and it has been for some time. Hell, even Blago knew he was being watched by the feds. Everybody knew. My late cat Ralph knew.

And that's why I'd be absolutely stunned if any of these taped conversations involving Rahm Emanuel turn up any pay-to-play offers from Rahm. Rahm is smarter than the average cat. Rahm knew that Blago controlled the appointment, and so it only stood to reason that Rahm would contact Blago's office with Obama's preferred choice of replacement. Same with anyone else interested in the job, including Jan Schakowsky, Tammy Duckworth, Jesse Jackson Jr, and others.

Now, a word about the Chicago "machine."

Back in the day, Richard J Daley was Mayor of Chicago, and also had a push-button control over the Cook County Board. That's a lot of control, and that's when the term Da Machine was coined. That's when Da Machine was operating smoothly, and it's a period well documented in books by both Mike Royko and Len O'Connor.It simply refers to the City of Chicago operating like a well oiled machine. A push-nutton operation run by Richard J Daley, The Boss. That's when we called Chicago "The City That Works." Ahhh, those were the days.

Control of the Cook County Board is not a luxury enjoyed by Richard M Daley, just ask Todd Stroger. Also note, that David Orr, Michael Bilandic, Jane Byrne, Harold Washington, and Eugene Sawyer all served as Chicago Mayor between Daley's. (Also note that the Cook County Democratic Party did not support Richie Shortshanks in his bid for Cook County State's Attorney in the late 80s, for which he's never forgiven them.)

When people try to act like they know about Chicago, they invariably invoke Da Machine.

Da Machine died in December 1976. (the "Da" part of Da Machine is a tongue-in-cheek homage to the way the old man pronounced the word "the"....duh.) We don't all talk like dat here,....know what I'm sayin'?

What is in place now in Chicago, "the machine", is a very strong LOCAL Democratic party, but it isn't in the same universe as Da Machine. If you don't believe me, just read about how our side-streets are still covered in snow this morning (a mistake that cost Bilandic the Mayor's job back in '79), a mistake The Boss would never have made.

I'm not suggesting there isn't wheeling and dealing that goes on at 121 N. LaSalle. There certainly is, and I could write 10,000 words on that subject. But this idea that corrupt Chicago politicians, and some sort of version of Da Machine is at the root of Blago's troubles is utter nonsense. If there is a machine in Chicago, its a strong Dem influence that attempts to run the city, not the entire state, nor the US Senate, nor the White House, and it ain't nuthin' like the old man's Machine. (which incidentally did not put JFK in the White House either.)

That Blago has had contact with certain area politicians is unsurprising. You may include Richie Shortshanks as one of those politicians, and the common link, John Harris, may prove fatal for Richie the Corrupt. Harris was Richie's budget director, and presently Chicago's finances are a shambles (something that never would have happened under The Boss.) However, implying that Daley's efforts to get state money for Chicago, and Blago's efforts to get flush before he gets unemployed, are in some way connected,.. is fantasy.

Springfield is not Chicago. Springfield has had its own problems recently, with corruption tainting both Republican governor Ryan, and Dem governor Blago. Chicago has its own problems and corruption. It's the difference between state government and city government.Two different entities. Chicago "machine" politics is all about getting things done here, and splitting up the left over money among friends. It's about patronage hiring.

There may be a Chicago influence in the careers in both of these scumbags, but in a state like Illinois, that is absolutely inevitable. There's 5 or 6 million people jammed into about 4% of the state's area. As I told someone else here, Illinois without Chicago is Nebraska.

I understand how Chicago politics work, and I understand how Illinois politics work. They may be similar in some regards, but the same can be said of politics in general, and in every state. Politics is horse trading, and deal making. What Blago is accused of (and what Ryan is in prison for) is pure stupid greed, and has nothing to do with a machine (there's a reason they call it a machine ya know?), or the long since mothballed... Da Machine.

Those days are gone, the days of Da Machine, but I've eften thought of how The Boss would have liked the US Attorney representing the Northern District of Illinois.

If there were typical 21st Century Chicago politics at work behind the filling of Obama's seat, nobody would have been calling anybody, they'd have just talked it over at Tavern on Rush and done the deal. (and maybe Fitz would have bugged the booth)

If The Boss was still alive, if Da Machine was still functioning, and was somehow involved in all of this, ....you'd have never heard a word.

---

You will also find this essay at Schmutzie's blog, Out of the Loop.

Royko rolls over and smiles

Royko rolls over and smiles
by Schmutzie
10/18/2008, 8:36 AM #

When Rupert Murdoch bought the Chicago Sun-Times in 1984, Mike Royko, my hero, switched teams. He hated Murdoch, and said that "No self respecting fish would be wrapped in a Murdoch paper." Over 25 years ago, Mike had pegged Murdoch for exactly what he turned out to be; a guy not interested in quality journalism, but rather political power.


After a decade and a half at the Sun-Times, the paper generally considered to be the liberal Democratic rag in town, Mike walked out the door.....and in the door of the Chicago Tribune.

The Trib has always been the choice of the Republicans in Chicago, yes we have some of those. When Royko joined the paper, and began running his columns 4 days a week, it seemed odd at first. It was like watching Ernie Banks play first base for the White Sox.

When Belushi took the role of Ernie Souchak in Continental Divide, it was clear to anyone living here that he was playing Royko. I thought the movie was okay, as feel-good fish-out-of-water love stories go, but I found it a bit of a stretch to pair him with Blair Brown. No offense to Royko, but he looked a lot like Capt. Merrill Steubing, and Blair Brown looked like..well, Blair Brown.

Royko didn't think Belushi was the right choice of actors to play him, even though they were friends. Royko thought perhaps Redford or Selleck would have been better choices. I still say they should have picked Gavin McCloud.

Anyway, whenever election time rolled around, I always tuned in to NBC Channel 5 in Chicago, because they'd always get Royko to do commentary as the votes would start rolling in.

One of my favorite election night moments was in April 1983, when Royko and Dick Kay (local news dweeb) began arguing about exit polls and election night forecasts. Kay (real name Dick Snodgrass) was getting ready to announce that NBC was going to project Harold Washington as the new mayor, with ...whatever....60% of the votes counted (or so.)

Royko, who had been urging people to lie whenever asked by pollsters how they were going to vote, and also to lie to exit pollsters, suggested that Kay and NBC were being premature.

His question to Dick Kay, and one that I find myself continuously asking on election nights, ..."Why are you projecting the winner? We're counting votes. We'll have an answer in 2 hours. What's the rush?"

And Kay said something like....homina homina homina....


1983 had seen a very racially charged campaign waged by Republican Bernie Epton, whose campaign slogan was "Vote for Epton: Before it's too late." I'm not kidding.

You think Obama's facing racism? He's got nothing on what Washington faced 25 years ago. In the Dem primary, Washington had won with 37% of the vote, to incumbent mayor Jane Byrne's 33%, and 30% for a newcomer named Richard M. Daley. Washington took something like 99.999932% of the black vote, while Byrne and Daley split the white vote. Very racial election, maybe the most racial election I've ever seen, including the Dem primary.


Republican Epton was seen as a guy who stood no chance against the vaunted "Chicago Democratic Machine." Royko knew better, and on election night, he proved it again.

Washington won with 51.7% of the vote to Epton's 47%. Epton won 81% of Chicago's white vote, and 3% of Chicago's black vote, which meant that the Democratic community organizers, who'd registered 100,000 new voters, had made the difference and swung the election to Harold Washington. I'm often tempted to bring this up when fray know-nothings talk about Obama being the hand-chosen pick of the "Chicago Democratic Machine", but I think I'd rather let people wallow in that ignorance, than point out with pride that Chicago is as racist as any other big city.

The Chicago Democratic Machine died in December 1976. It's still a Dem city of course, but there is no resemblance to The Machine that the old man built, which was covered extensively in Royko's Boss.

And the Tribune is still Chicago's Republican paper.

And, the Chicago Tribune has endorsed Democrat Barack Obama for president. It's the first time in history that the Trib has endorsed a Democrat.

I was telling friends early in the Dem primaries that one regret I have is that Mike Royko didn't live long enough to see what we all saw. I would have loved to have been able to read Mike's take on the heavyweight match-up between Senator Clinton and Senator Obama.

I'm regretting Mike's absence again. He should have lived long enough to see the 2008 election, and he should have lived long enough to see the Tribune, the paper to which he'd fled rather than toil for Murdoch, endorse their very first Democrat for president.

Fray Bash: 2011

Fray Bash: 2011
by Schmutzie
10/08/2008, 3:18 PM #

Wrigley Field
Chicago,Il
Right Field Bleachers above the 368' mark

....around tea time.

"Hey Bud here!!! Cold Bud!!!" drones the vendor as he stares out at the sea of faces....."Cold Bud!!!!"

"Do you have any Brunello,...or maybe a nice chianti?"
"Fuck off wise guy.....Cold Bud!!!! Hey Bud here!!!"
"You know, they used to carry bottles of beer around in a metal box and the guy would thwap thwap thwap the lid to get attention."
"You wanna a fuckin' beer or not?"
"Sure, gimme 8 of your $22.50 beers. Here's two hundred, keep the change."
"Thanks."
"Fuck off."

"You say that word a lot."


"Which word?....Here pass these down to those guys....ZB doesn't drink, but Switters gets two. Oh FUCK YOU!!!! That ball was 6" off the plate! FUCK!!!! Kerry Wood sucks!!! ....Which word?"


"Fuck. Why do you say it so much?"


"I do?"


"Yes. And you don't need to. It diminishes your message.It offends people."

"I didn't say it to you."

"You didn't have to."


"I appreciate your input Ink, I never really thought about it. Look at this asshole in right field. I saw Clemente stand in that same spot in '69. He was beautiful. Just a gorgeous guy to watch play the game. Hey Fukudome!!!! You suck dick!!! How dare you patrol the same ground as Clemente!!! EAT SHIT!!!!!"

"Why are you yelling at the Cubs?"

"I switched sides back in the late 20th century. Gave up on the Cubs after 40 years. SOX fan now. Hey Soriano!!!, you couldn't hit a bull in the ass with a banjo!!!"

"So why are we here?"

"I love this place. Hey Ramirez!!!!! ....I saw you wife last night out on Broadway!!!! ....What's a DIRTY SANCHEZ?????"


"What was that?"

"Switters, quit looking at the chicks for a minute....hey!!....skitch..... slap him for me...."

"What?"

"What time is it?"

"You mean right now?"

"You frickin' stoner....pass that down here.....yes, what time is it right now?"

"It's right up there on top of the scoreboard. See it? Big round green thing with two white arrows pointing to the numbers. Big hand 12....little hand.....4....."

"Goddamn this is good....big hand what?...where'd you get this? Can I buy some?...wait a minute....it's 4 O'Clock? What time are we supposed to be in our tuxes?"

"Gobshite. The nups are mid-eve. We have.....we have to go."

And now, singing "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" are two Chicago icons, so let's give a big 7th inning stretch welcome to the stars of the new series "We Like Us", John Cusack and Jim Belushi!!!!

"FUCK CUSACK AND BELUSHI!!!!! They SUCK!!!! BOOO!!!"

"You better get him out of here."

"Thanks officer, we were just leaving."

"What better time to leave than now ? ...scuse me....pardon me...Those two asshats don't have a spot of talent between them. ...scuse me ....sorry.....scuse me...BOOOO!!!!!! BOOOOO!!!!! CUSACK AND BELUSHI SUUUUCCCCKKK!!"

"Down in front!"

"Shut-up lady. Oh, you're not a lady? Sorry."

"Let's go guys. Security wants you to leave."


"I love watching the Cardinals play here."

"The Cardinals suck as bad as the Cubs Arch. Let's get out of here."

"They just threw us out of here."

"We were leaving anyway."


3700 Block of North Sheffield Ave.

"Oh taxis.Taxis!! We'll be needing two taxis please!."

"They'll never pull over if you call them like that. Jesus man, this is Chicago. Fu...I mean screw the taxis skitch, I know this guy in the limo. He'll take us."

"Hey Leo!!! How are ya? Need a ride over to the Swissotel, and then back to Holy Name. How much?"

"Two hundred and the rest of that thing you're holding...."

"Deal, Switters....we need another one....."

"Holy Name? On a Saturday? Whatcha doin' there?"

"Big wedding. We're the groomsmen. If we're late the bride is going to kick each and every one of us in the balls. She'll do it too. I'm serious."

"Nice car. What's in these decanters?"

"Shit Keifus, it's a ten minute ride."

"Time enough for at least two, pass the ice bucket."

Ten minutes later

"Hey Armstrong. We're just going to run inside and change into our tuxes. Leo can wait here can't he?"

"Certainly."

"Hey Schad, give Armstrong 20 bucks and hurry up."

"TWENTY BUCKS???? American?"

"You know the difference between a canoe and a Canuck Schad? A canoe occasionally tips. Give him 20 bucks and shut yer yap ya cheap bastard Jeopardy geek....Hurry up!"


"It occurs to me that we've pressed our luck on the issue of time, resulting in the harried state in which we currently find ourselves. A more prudent approach would have been to forgo the Wrigley Field excursion and focus on..."

"Shut the fuck up Ink and push the elevator button."

20 minutes later

"Hey Schad, you look good in a tux. You're going to be serious eye candy for butterscotch and chango. Oh, and next time, the cummerbund goes around your waist, and the bow tie goes around your neck."

"Who are you to talk? You look exactly like that wanker Brosnan, only bald and unattractive. Bolluxed up the whole program with that Wrigley shite you did. She's going to put some leg into it when she crumbles your nads ya gobshite."

"I knew we never should have put him in charge of the schedule. He's a complete moron. I would have allocated the time in a way..."

"Hey Schad. Has anyone told you to shut the fuck up today?"

"Nobody with an IQ over 60....so that leaves you."

"The fuck are you giggling about Leo? Shut up and drive. Switters, quit screwing around with the radio and make us some drinks.....Switters.....hey!!!­.....aw screw it, Keifus do the honors..."

10 minutes later
Sidewalk outside Holy Name Cathedral
North State St.


"Wow. Look at this church!"

"Best in the city. Hef's daughter tied the knot here. Wait til you see the inside. It's amazing."

Bride approaches stealthily


"Ow FUCK!!!!"

"You had it coming you dumb son-of-a-bitch. How dare you show up late. The photographer...my mother.....Judge Gerlich...."

"Did you have to kick me in the balls? Why don't you kick the rest of them in the balls?"

"They're innocent."

"Yeah, we're innocent."


"Shut up Keifus! That pack of degenerates? They're innocent? The tuxes fooled you? That Rogue's Gallery hasn't been innocent since the doctor smacked them on their spotty collective ass. What kind of shoes are those?"


2 minutes later

"Okay, everyone ready? Smile."

Click.

Goddamnit, I blinked right when he took the picture, I'm going to look stoned.

10 minutes later


Wow. She's got some hot friends on her side of the church, and these bridesmaids look seriously good. Topazz and Rundeep...yummy. Hope the Cubs lost...Fielding's family looks like a bunch of Canadian accountants. Left foot...together ...right foot.....together...left foot.....why does bite keep smoothing down the back of her dress?

......left....together....righ­t...together.....Aw man the mother of the bride is just beautiful.....

....smile....nod....left...tog­ether....right....look at all the people!...is that Ryerson sitting with....no it can't be.....is that Appy in the gold tux?...was he extradited or did he slip past border security?.....hmm...that must be ellen over there in the corner.....no clique for her....how in the hell is the Green Mill going to hold all these people..... looks like every Frayster made the trip........holy smokes....look at that....the bride is radiant, and knows how to kick a guy in the nuts.....she's a 5 tool player....the total package...he's a lucky man...


And Fritz Gerlich motions to the congregation.....who respond by taking their seats in the old wooden pews of the historic Chicago cathedral......I glance out at the crowd, and see every frayster I've ever known, dressed in their finest,.....and smiling.

God my balls hurt.


"Dearly beloved....we are gathered here today to join this woman and this man in holy matrimony......"

Mexican Truckers and The Big Hurt

Mexican Truckers and The Big Hurt
by Schmutzie
09/06/2007, 1:17 PM #

I first met Rick the Truck Driver in the early 90s. We were both limo drivers here in Chicago. Rick had been driving for years and was a total pro. Rick loved the limo business. He loved "going long" as it is called in the trade. Rick was basically assigned to Oprah's account. He liked the idea of taking someone from Harpo Studios to Fairmount, Indiana.(Home of the James Dean Museum) An all day affair with a deadhead return. No matter, because he'd get paid for both trips.

So it came as no surprise years later when Rick the Limo Guy became Rick the Truck Driver.


I was a short-term guy, merely biding my time until my dad and I could mend our fences, and I could go back to working for our family business. To make a boring story short, it was simply a matter of my dad realizing that I was the smartest person on the planet, while also admitting that he was a total moron. (As it turns out, I'm not the smartest person on the planet, and my dad, may he rest in peace, wasn't a moron at all. In fact he possessed one of the most brilliant minds I've ever encountered.)

But for a brief period of time, I drove a limo. I did not like "going long." And thus, thanks to my friendship with the owner of the limo company for whom both Rick and I worked, I was assigned to the Big Hurt account. This meant for two and a half years, I was driving around the Chicago area while servicing the needs of a guy named Frank Thomas. Frank, a sweetheart of a guy from Columbus, Ga. was a member of the Chicago White Sox.

Frank will someday be enshrined in the Baseball Hall of Fame, something we didn't know 13 years ago. (Truth be told, I spent too little time with Frank, and entirely too much time with his (now ex-) wife Elise and her Louis Vuitton luggage.)

Anyway, after 3 years I gave up the Big Hurt account to come back to the job I was born to do, and Rick decided he wanted to drive a Peterbilt.

Rick has been doing this for almost a decade now. He calls me almost daily from all over the country to tell me:about his new truck, how beautiful the Pacific Northwest is, about the 3 hour wait to re-enter the US after dropping off some shit in Toronto, about some jagoff in an SUV who just cut him off and then slammed on the brakes, not realizing that it takes a driver carrying 80,000 lbs on a flatbed a bit longer to stop than it does a Ford Explorer. He takes the trucker job just as seriously as he took the limo job.


I called Ricky this morning to ask him what he thought of the Mexican truck drivers now being allowed to operate within the lower 48, thanks to NAFTA.

For those of you unaware, up until now a Mexican truck driver could cross into the US with a load of Guacamole, and could deliver that load anywhere within about a 100 mile "buffer zone." The load of Guacamole would then be transferred to a truck that operates exclusively within the US, controlled by a driver who is governed by the rules and regs we all see in force every day on our nation's highways.

The Mexican truckers, as of this morning, no longer have to transfer their loads to a US driver.

As of this morning, a Mexican trucker crosses the border the way they have since NAFTA was passed, but now continues on and delivers the load to its final destination, whether it be in New York, Chicago, Bangor, Vegas, or LA.

Rick explained to me that outside of Laredo,Tx there is a weigh station, a "chicken coop", where Mexican trucks are weighed and inspected.This is operated by the Texas Dept.of Public Safety.

In short, the DPS people make sure the truck is 80,000 lbs or under, and give the truck a brief visual inspection to make sure no brake rotors are about to fall off, and that the 40 tons of Guacamole is tied down properly.Not that big of a deal when the truck had no more than 100 miles to go before turning around. Now, the truck might have 1200 miles or more to go before arriving at its destination.


Now, and here's where Rick sees a potential problem, the trucks that pass from Mexico into the US are not subject to the same stringent inspections as those trucks that operate exclusively within the US.

Rules and regs in Mexico are a bit more lax when it comes to trucks and drivers.

Rick also explained that while Canadian trucks also operate within the lower 48, having crossed the border and passing inspection and weight regulations in the same fashion as these new Mexican trucks, the Canadian rules and regs governing trucks and drivers are very similar to US rules and regs.

The teamsters are worried, but for reasons other than Rick's. The teamsters (Jim Hoffa) are afraid that Mexican drivers are going to take jobs from American drivers. (if the American drivers are teamsters that is. If the American driver's not a teamster, Hoffa couldn't give a shit. Same as his dad.)


Rick, on the other hand, has serious concerns about the safety of the average American driving across good old Rte 66 because of the disparity in Mexican safety regs vis-a-vis the trucks as well as the qualifications of Mexican drivers. (My concerns are not only those of our safety, but also those of national security and immigration. You can fit lots of radioactive waste in a semi, as well as lots of illegal aliens)


In essence, Rick thinks that the average Canadian trucker you may encounter on the road is well trained, well regulated, and is accustomed to the ins and outs of the American highways. He/she is, by law, well rested, has an up-to-snuff log book, and works for a company that is run in a very similar fashion to that of the average American trucking firm.

Mexican truckers.....not so much.

Rick thinks that for the time being, we'll see the best Mexican trucks and the best Mexican drivers because everyone is paying attention. But after awhile...

Keep your eyes open people. And let's hope those Texas DPS people are on their toes. (as well as those in AZ, CA, and NM)


I'm sure these Mexican drivers are as courteous and safety conscious as the truckers we've all come to know and ...ahem..love. But some of these new trucks we see on our roads may be carrying a big hurt, thanks to NAFTA.

Hope we don't find out the hard way.

A Year in the Fray

A Year in the Fray
by Schmutzie
06/07/2007, 2:10 PM #

Just about a year ago, I stumbled onto this message board called "Fighting Words." I had been sent a link to a Hitchens Slate column by my dear mother, (you haven't lived until your 79 year old mother sends you an e-mail containing a link, complete with an "LOL" and a sign-off TTYL, Love~M)

"Hey mom, what the hell is TTYL?"

"Michael, for goodness sakes, it means 'talk to you later.'

"Aren't you the same person who told me the internet doesn't interest you like... a year ago? Now you're online constantly, sending links, making Wiki entries, forwarding those stupid chain-mails from Claire...I mean seriously mom, WTF?"

"Tsk tsk tsk, must you always swear? We paid alot of money to educate you."

"I didn't swear."

"I know what WTF means dear. Let's clean it up when you talk to me. I am your mother."

"Sigh...TTYL mom, I love you."

"Love you too..." click.

Anyhoo (sorry), by pure chance I scrolled down below the end of the Hitch column and saw what appeared to be a couple of links.

What did you think of this article?

Add a comment. Read comments.

Add a comment? You mean I can send a nasty message to Hitchens?

Maybe I'd better read the comments first.

Click.

That was one of the most significant mouse-clicks in my internet life.

The Fray.

Wow! Look at all these people. Holy shit. They seem to be discussing things in these threads.Maybe I'll read some of these discussions before I send my personal message to Hitchens.

I remember it like it was...well, a year ago. The first click was on a message posted by Varian. It was about what a great guy Bush is, and how the Iraq War was going exactly as planned It was JerseyMan who replied first, and seemed to be agreeing with Varian. The next in line was Helio. He seemed to take issue with the first two posters, and used a rather wonderful flavor of broken Japanglish to insult the shit out of Varian and JerseyMan The guy made me laugh my ass off. He was hilarious, especially when he'd toss some French phrases in there and spice it up with some penis humor. Next came Rosey1, a doctor it seems who somehow found a way to change the subject to Israel. A few others joined in, the argument continued, and then devolved into a series of attempted scathing insults.

Read a few more comments, with subject lines ranging from Hitchens being a drunk, to one about 9/11 being an inside job.

Next thing I knew, I'd spent 3 hours reading Fighting Words. I was hooked. This was a cool idea. Who came up with this? These people are from all over the world. Lots of Yanks, but also Canadians, Japanese, Brits, Koreans, Irish....

I developed a fondness for certain writers, and an intense dislike for others. I never missed anything written by Zeus Boy. "Whether I agree with him or not, this guy is the real shit here. I like this dude, and not just because he's Irish, although that certainly helps." I always read Varian, even though I knew it would piss me off. Same with Jersey. There's something worthwhile about reading a person with views other than mine, who can back it up a little bit with some chops. I don't mind a good disagreement, as long as the other party isn't talking out their arse.

I got fed up with one argument to the point where I said farewell to the Fray. I was so pissed I could barely type.

Helio talked me out of it, although much to my surprise, Varian and JerseyMan suggested that I stay as well. I was grateful to them, and I never forget shit like that.

I was posting practically every day in Fighting Words, and I could tell people were getting used to me being there. Really interesting to me, that these people I didn't know other than by their words, were getting to know me in the same way.

Then, one day in July I went to post something. As I hit the submit button...

Your post was not received. You are either posting too often, or you violated the Rules of the Road, and have been banned.

The Freditor banned me.

To this day, I don't know why.

Well damn. Now what do I do? Take a new nic. ChicagoMick. That lasted a week or so, and I got tired of it. So I changed to Schmutz_ which seemed close enough to Schmutzie for my old friends to recognize me. (old friends that I'd met 2 months previously.)

Along came a guy named JFKMartyred. A more vile human being I can't imagine. Jews killed Kennedy. Jews brought down the WTC Jews are running the world through the Worldwide Banking Conspiracy. Israel should be nuked. Jews Jews Jews Jews. A new post every 30 minutes or so.

Well fuck this guy, I thought. I'm not going to sit quietly while this shithead puts this garbage up there. I'm as good at insults as most people, I'm going to let this motherfucker have it. And I did.

Unsatisfied, I wanted this prick banned. I was banned. Why is this asshole allowed to stay? I decided to top post a question for the Editor. "Hey editor, why is this shithead being allowed to post this junk?"...or something clever like that.

My first reply was from a guy named TheQuietMan. (Hey I love that movie!! Especially the part where Dannaher and Thornton have a handshake squeeze-contest at Cohan's.) Never saw this TQM guy before, but I opened his reply. He has a star next to his name.(a rare appearance in FightClub.)

"You should address this question here."

(Hey, TQM knows how to do links like my mom!)

So I clicked his link. Fraywatch.

Fraywatch? What the hell is this? Hey, look TQM has posted a question about my question! "Geoff, is this acceptable?"

Who the hell is Geoff?

There are other Frays????

Within 10 minutes,JFKMartyred was gone. All of his anti-Semitic hate-speech had been flushed. He had been banned.

Oh..so that's who this Geoff guy is.

Clicked on TQM's MBTU.

And that is how I found Best of the Fray, so blame him. Loads of new nics to get used to, so I sat quietly and read. And read. And read. This was fascinating to me. Unlike FightClub, BotF is about all sorts of things, not just the Hitchens column.

Look, a "Fray Poll'... "Dumbest Hippie Songs of the 60s."...My first BotF post! "Incense and Peppermints" by The Strawberry Alarm Clock. (we didn't have underline/bold back in the old days kids, we had to walk uphill to school in both directions) Someone named Mellifluous replied with a nice comment, and was then accused of being someone named Tempo. My first reply.Why thank you. And I added "Green Tambourine" by The Lemon Pipers.

I decided that I didn't care if Mellifluous is Tempo, since I didn't know either of them anyway. ( I have since figured out who is whom.)

Tossed up my first top post. New Orleans. Wrote about Lewis and Clark, and how important that port city was back in the Louisiana Purchase days, and how sad it is that it's being allowed to drown while GW flies over in Air Force One. Someone named Isonomist replied very nicely, and welcomed me to the board. She was immediately jumped by some asshole named Normality.

My first BotF enemy. I disliked him immediately, and my opinion never changed. I liked Iso immediately, and my opinion has never changed. First impressions are important I guess huh?

In the short amount of time that I've been reading/posting here, I have gained a certain familiarity with most of the regulars. I've: learned the 12 step process for logging in, argued with Texans, talked Rocky Mountains with a Coloradan, laughed at the antics of a Japanese guy, enjoyed poetry in another Fray thanks to Zeus Boy's heads-up, "met" other Chicagoans, talked John Wayne "True Grit" quotes, taken polls, followed links, insulted Bush, discussed serious topics like plagiarism, tried to be funny, been saddened by a Frayster's loss, been heartened by the support given her by fellow Fraysters, and braced myself for the big switchover.

Well it's been 4 days, and I think I'm prepared to render my half-assed judgment of the new place.

I like it.

Some old friends, some old foes, some new nics, and a format I'm beginning to like. (would it have been so hard to have ratings and views side-by-side instead of either/or?)

It's nice to see people energized again, and there's a sense of "fresh start" ..at least for me there is. I still enjoy the same posters from BotF1, but for some reason I'm giving a new look to people I'd soured on before. Maybe it's the new wallpaper. Maybe it's the new format. Whatever. I like the new place.

(Although by force of habit, I'm still typing my PW, hitting login, hitting backspace 3 times, re-entering PW, hitting enter and crossing my fingers.)