19 January 2006

BOTF interviews Locdog's wife.

Subject: BOTF interviews Locdog's wife.
From: justoffal
Date: Jan 19 2006 4:25PM

BOTF: So Mrs Locdog, we here at BOTF would like to know from you what its like to be the wife of a fray legend. Can you offer us a quick synopsis of a day in the life of Mrs. Locdog??

Mrs. LD: Why sure. I just adore my little locky Docky Doo!. He's so cute when sits at his computer in the morning, still in his super-man pajamas, to post his morning contributions to BOTF. I wish some of you people would try harder to understand what a wonderful man he is. I know he can be a bit disagreeable... like the time he insisted that it was his God-given man's right to fart at the dinner table but we solved that problem with a couple months of wild, unrestrained sex; the way he likes to solve all of his problems.

BOTF: Ahh! yes, the S word! We do have some questions about that! Tell us Mrs. Dog, is it true that er, um, Locky lowers himself into the Bed chamber with an electric shop crane while the stereo blasts the "Anchors Away" theme and declares his love to you as he slowly descends by saying ""I'm coming Mommy!""??????

Mrs. LD: (Blushing a bit) Well...look you have to understand that Locky is a very energetic man and that the crane thing is just...

BOTF: Whoah there Mrs. LD!!! We don't need to know the details, we are just curious as to whether or not the rumors are true.

Mrs. LD: (Shrugging and somewhat embarrassed ) Well I don't know how anyone would even know about...hey, he didn't show you guys any videos did he?????

BOTF: No Dear, but he does do a lot of Bragging.

Mrs. LD: (Now a bit angry) About our sex life??????????

BOTF: Not just about your sex life but also about his own endeavors and abilities.

Mrs. LD: ( Mumbling to herself ) ..abilities hah!

BOTF: What's that Mrs. LD? We can't quite hear you...

Mrs. LD: ..Nothing! ....heh...nothing at all...

BOTF: Well, if you say so dear. May we ask Mrs. LD if there is any one thing that he does that you either like or dislike when it comes to his posting on the fray??

Mrs LD: Well there is one thing.. it happens when he posts...his little seal stands at attention.

BOTF: His little seal????

Mrs. LD: Well yeah, that's what he calls it...his you know...

BOTF: ( Now rolling on the floor with laughter ) His penis???

Mrs. LD: Oh dear, I hope he doesn't find out about this.... he will not be pleased!!!

BOTF: ( Still breathless) So he calls it his little seal??? Why pray tell???

Mrs. LD: I don't really know but he has this little uniform with a beret and a realistic scale model weapons belt that he puts on it. Then he sort of lays back and starts barking orders at it like... "" You are a disgrace Soldier!!! Drop and give me twenty right now!!! and ""We'll be shipping out in the morning you pathetic puke! Be ready or be a failure!!!"" ""Un-ass the AO right now muthafucker and get your butt snorkeling face out of mine you lazy shiftless no account bolo!!!""

BOTF: He actually says those things to his Pe..ahhh I mean to the little seal????

Mrs. LD Yeah he says those things and other things like that that I don't really understand. After about 20 minutes of scolding the little seal, he usually wants to get into the crane harness and well you know.


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