Subject: My dad was 48, I was 25
Date: Apr 25 2005 8:30PM
If he were to pass away now, it would be easier for me, but that would be partly because of what I learned from his passing, which is that people are precious and temporary, and that nothing matters quite so much in this life as the quality of our relationships.
I didn't know that until I lost him, and everything else lost its significance beside our capacity to connect, to know, to accept, and to love each other. If I'd been younger, we wouldn't have been as close; older, and I'd have had more time to grow in the relationship.
When he died, I felt like I had no home anymore, nowhere to go home to. That was a tough thing for a 25-year old who hadn't quite found her way yet. I still miss him acutely at those times when I want comfort and refuge. And all the events between that day and this that he has missed, I've missed him at each of them, too.