Subject: Advice sought on fuck buddies
Date: Apr 14 2005 11:36AM
I have a fuck buddy. She's beautiful, signifigantly younger than me, and we have amazing sex together. I, however, don't want a relationship. I can easily see that we have little in common, and I have no interest in committing to someone who I know is not my partner in many respects. Remarkably, though we've been having sex like hormonal-crazed bunnies, the topic of an explicit and monogomous relationship hasn't come up.
So, because I'm uncomfortable discussing casual sex with my post-menopausal/liver spotted colleagues who drip their nasal fillings and shake involuntarily around me, and because I'm not interested in spreading gossip in this tribal village that's also a university, I'd like to ask:
1) Am I using her? That is, is it unethical of me to assume that she also only wants sex and not a relationship? Should I ask?
2) I've suddenly become afraid of STDs. Although we have protected sex, there are nonetheless many STDs that can be transmitted otherwise. How does one politely mention this topic?
3) I'm really afraid of losing my fuck buddy. Is there a polite way to make permanent a temporary relationship?
4) Most of all, I'm afraid of falling in love with her, or her falling in love with me, because of the human tendency to like or love who is around you and doesn't treat you like a journalist in Tom Delay's office. Although this may sound rhetorical, it's not: is there any way to insure that I only see her for her remarkably large breasts, perfectly curved ass, long, beautiful, black, curly hair and blue eyes only?