Since I Found The Fray
by Schadenfreude
08/08/2011, 11:10 AM #
1.I have lived in three different countries.
2.I have changed jobs six times and been fired twice
3.I have tripled my income*
4.I have had a shot at winning $2 million (not much of one)
5.My kids have gone from diapers to teenagaers
6.I have changed my mind on several things (gay marriage for one)
7.I have made more enemies than friends
* Apparently, the key to success is to ignore work.
Since I Found The Fray
by Archaeopteryx
08/08/2011, 11:49 AM #
1. I finished graduate school.
2. Found my job, received tenure, published 6 papers.
3. Actually began earning an income.
4. I had a shot at winning 210 million dollars, but some asshole at a convenience store in Ohio bought the winning ticket.
5. My marriage managed to survive, but it was touch-and-go for a while. This was unrelated to the Fray...I think.
6. I have changed my mind on several things because of things I've read on the Fray--thanks to TK, ZB, DC, TG, Hipparchia, Daveto, Ghost, and others. I've thought about things in ways I never would have, thanks to those named, plus Inkberrow, Schmutzie, Catnapping, Schad, Ender, Keifus, John McG, and countless others. I've lost faith in humanity after reading posts by...well, you know...
7. I have made more friends than enemies, if you can count people you've never laid eyes on as "friends."
Re: Since I Found The Fray
by Schmutzie
08/08/2011, 12:23 PM #
Same apartment, same job, no jackpot, no kids, I changed my mind on capital punishment, Way more friends than enemies. I posted once from the parking lot near Mather Point on the South Rim of the Grand Canyon, and twice from a hotel in Joplin, MO.
A BotF post you made triggered the Geezer Experiment.
Since I Found The Fray
by skitch
08/08/2011, 12:25 PM #
1. I've put on a few more pounds than I'd like.
2. My feet hurt more.
Since I Met You Baby, or Since I Fell For You?
by Inkberrow
08/08/2011, 1:15 PM #
Take that as meaning the Fray or yourself, Schad, as you prefer.
1. I've lived in one country, but set foot in eight
2. I've had the same job
3. I've doubled my income
4. No prospects of a windfall
5. I've gone from boxers to diapers
6. I've changed my mind on several thing (Al Jazeera for one)
7. I don't know if I've made more enemies than friends
Re: Since I Found The Fray
by RonB52
08/08/2011, 1:43 PM #
1. I've lived in the same townhouse.
2. I have the same day job.
3. I added a second teaching job and turned down a third.
4. I won the "Whad'ya Know" quiz.
5. My kids have become vegetarians.
6. I have become in general less homophobic.
7. I have had more friends than enemas.
Re: Since I Found The Fray
by DrNo
08/08/2011, 2:01 PM #
1: My son got cancer
2: My son underwent multiple sugeries, chemo and radiation treatments.
3: My son has been cancer-free for two years.
4: Nothing else matters.
Since I Found The Fray
by daveto
08/08/2011, 2:19 PM #
I once lived in the same town as Schadenfreude. (I didn't fire or hire him -- knowingly.)
Re: Since I Found The Fray
by yastfort
08/08/2011, 2:25 PM #
I'm happily married
I'm a better cook
My teeth are whiter
My c___'s bigger
Since I Found The Fray
by greeneggsnham
08/08/2011, 8:06 PM #
I've had my fingerprints altered several times.
Re: Since I Found The Fray
by TenaciousK
08/08/2011, 11:09 PM #
1. I have lived in five different houses.
2. I have changed jobs twice.
3. I quadrupled my income, then halved it.
4. One of my parents died.
5. I have gotten divorced and remarried.
6. I have successfully navigated US immigration.
7. One child went from middle school to college, the other from elementary school to senior HS year.
8. I've changed my mind about many things.
9. I've learned some important things about myself.
10. I've made many friends, and lost a few, and switched from dogs to cats.
11. I quit smoking. Twice. And it's stuck.
12. I'm very happy.
Re: Since I Found The Fray
by meridiantoo
08/09/2011, 12:56 PM #
- I have lived in two houses
- I have changed jobs once
- I have shared God's Holy word in Zambia, Zinbabwe, South Africa, China, Mexico, Nicaragua, Honduras and six states in the USA.
- I have seen both of my sons impress me in ways I never thought would happen.
- I have thanked the Lord for my Wife (MHNBPF) thousands of times.
- I have received an artificial heart valve, two stints, two bypasses, a loop recorder and pacemaker.
- I have purchased one new truck
- I have stood less that twenty feet from a live rhino in the brush of Africa with nothing between me and him, except open air. I have scaled mountains swam in rivers with crocodiles and hippos and looked across a hundred thousand acres of wilderness.
- I have repared my Husqvarna more times than I can count.
- I have made more friends around the world than are countable. And a few here.
- Oh, I built a barn - a pretty good barn
Since I found the Fray,
by Fritz Gerlich
08/09/2011, 1:16 PM #
I've kept it in a sealed compartment. It has nothing else to do with the rest of my life. This is true not only physically and socially but emotionally. I've never assumed any of you is anything but pixels on a screen. It's like a go game--you put down your pixels, I put down mine. Over time, patterns are formed. There's a certain pleasure in it. But at the end of the day, we pack up the game and go home.
Re: Since I Found The Fray
by Keifus
08/10/2011, 6:26 PM #
1.I haven't even left the country.
2.The same crappy job got worse, better, and then absolutely horrible.
3.I've increased my income by almost 12%.
4.The journey from diapers to teenagers happened to my kids too. Well, one of them so far.
5.I stayed saner (and slightly more sober) than expected for all those years while I stayed up by myself.
6.Made a couple dozen friends I've never met. (Want a hug, Schad? I'll have to spell it with parentheses.) I found a point to Facebook.
7.I've watched the place die three or four times, and then get weakly resurrected, like a crappy photocopy of itself.
8.I've become a completely different person. Who is somehow more like myself.
Re: Since I Found The Fray
by newrundeep
08/11/2011, 8:04 AM #
1. Same country, same city, same house. 2. Third job. 3. Income has gone way up and way down and will be about 1.5 times where it was when I started here. 4. Kid went from elementary school to high school. 5. I made a few genuine friends, discovered that people I thought I liked were not all friends, and discovered I really genuinely disliked a number of others. 6. Marriage survived. 7. I too have changed my mind about a lot of things. To my shock, I'm getting more liberal as I conclude that the Tea Party is an incipient fascist movement and I truly believe we could see unrest near the scale of the French Revolution as the class wars escalate. 8. I don't make enemies, I just allow people to fall into the darkness where they dare not speak to me. 9. Mom got cancer, I've been the caretaker. Surgery, chemo, and now radiation. It's a frigging haul, let me tell you. 10. I've seriously improved my tennis.
my stomach aches today.
by Snolly G
08/11/2011, 9:14 AM #
since i found the fray,
1.i have lived in one country
2.i have not changed jobs
3.i have multiplied my income by -3.0
4.i have had a miniscule shot at winning some hundred million dollars
5.the twinkle in my eye now has mass
6.i have changed my mind on several things (gays, for one)
7.i have made more friends than enemies
Re: Since I Found The Fray
by dumb_blonde
08/11/2011, 9:18 AM #
1. Both kids graduated & we became empty nesters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. One kid married
3. Two grandkids born.
4. Bought a house, planted a bunch of trees in the yards & now they are HUGE.
5. My income has stayed about the same, health insurance pretty much cancels out the raises I've received. Hubby's income has at least doubled.
6. Gone through several severe health issues with family members
7. Got my own motorcycle
Re: Since I Found The Fray
by Ted Burke
08/12/2011, 11:39 AM #
1.Sober for 24 years.
2. 24 years beyond my life expectancy.
3. Have had my poems published in various small magazines.
4.Was laid off by a management company because they were in financial trouble.
5. Was rehired for the same job when the business owners fired the management company and offered me my job back.
6.Appreciate the wealth of friends and family in my life.
7. Write better than I ever have.
8. Still a jerk
Re: Since I Found The Fray
by SouthernGal
08/15/2011, 1:37 AM #
1. I've lived in only one country but that could change [see # 4]
2. I had a stroke and could no longer work
3. My income is nonexistent
4. I have a chance at winning untold millions every Tue. and Fri,
5. My kids have grown into adulthood and I could not be happier or prouder
6. I've continued to have an open mind about most things
7. I've made enemies and some good friends and one very good friend
8. I realized certain posters would always ignore me but I learned to live with it
9. I had no idea pixels on a screen could make me cry or laugh out loud
10. I learned not to let pixels on a screen make me cry [with exceptions]
Re: Since I Found The Fray
by NickD
08/15/2011, 9:51 PM #
1. I have refinanced my home, twice, to help pay expenses and provide quality of life for disabled and dying family members.
2. I have lost my mother.
3. I have lost my brother.
4. I lost the woman I loved.
5. I lost my sister in law.
6. I lost my best friend.
7. I suffered a minor stroke.
8. I gained about 20 pounds.
9. I almost think I can't wait for the fray to go away.
However:
I have become un-afraid to write. And I now realize just how badly I detest the right wing and the extremes of the left. I have learned that intellegence does not always denote ability, nor does it always equal empiricle knowledge, and that there are no prospects for fixing stupid. I quit smoking and stayed quit.
One obviously cannot blame the Fray for the physical things that happen in the world, but I can give this place at least partial credit for my newly rediscovered desire to write. Should this place still be alive when I get published I am going dedicate my first book to this place and to my deceased family members but not in that order.
Note to Schad: If you are true to yourself and what you believe, if you are honest in your dealings with people you will always have enemys. There was a book written during the early eighties or late seventies called Winning Through Intimidation. I haven't seen my copy in about twenty years but the author broke people down into three basic groups with sub groups. While he got somethings wrong he was basically accurate in his description of the three major catagories. We all pretty much fall into one of them.
Re: Since I Found The Fray
by SamIamNot
08/17/2011, 4:41 PM #
1. I have maintained a very low key on the few boards I read. I am guessing DB and LI (if he is still here) are the only ones here who remember me from more than a year or so ago.
2. I have remained married to the same woman
3. I have watched my kids grow up to be very nice young adults and start college
4. I have lived in the same house
5. I have worked at the same company but have switched jobs a few times.
6. I have only left the country once to go to Isreal which I would never have thought was a likely place to visit
7. I have visited many places in the US. Some while on business others on persnal travel
8. I have stayed above (mostly) the squabbles on the Fray (see #1)
9. Have had my opinions swayed here an there by those on the fray
10. Have never met anyone face-to-face from the fray but know a few by their real names
Re: Since I Found The Fray
by adorablepuppyofwar
08/28/2011, 9:03 PM #
1. a loved one committed suicide [and i didn't even see it coming]
2. a loved one died of cancer [and i was glad when the end finally came]
3. the cat who was my soulmate and defender-from-burglars got old and died [i still miss him]
4. the dog who was my jogging partner [and soulmate] got old and is lingering at death's doorstep
5. i accidentally adopted 11 more cats and suddenly became a crazy cat lady
6. i really would have turned into a crazy, 'you kids get off my lawn' kind of hermit if i hadn't met a bunch of interesting and engaging and [sometimes] sane people on the internet, starting with the fray and extending to blogs and twitter and even into rl. many thanks to all y'all [and that includes you, schad].
Re: Since I Found The Fray
by Luo_Yi
08/29/2011, 2:59 AM #
Favorites Reply
At the risk of appearing to copy your points verbatum...
1.I have lived in three different countries
2.I have changed jobs 7 times and been retrenched once
3.I have quadrupled my income (must consider taxes in this figure)
4.I have met/married a great lady who "cured me of my wickedness"
5.I have had my opinion changed several times
6.I have learned some very valuable lessons (mostly investment/economic)
7.I have followed the lives of many people who I would be happy to know IRL. (I was going to say chatted with many people, but I mostly lurk on slate now rather than posting/exchanging)
Re: Since I Found The Fray
by catnapping
08/29/2011, 3:35 PM #
1. I have lost my husband.
2. I have lost all my hair, and grown it back again.
3. I have gained 40 pounds, lost 60, and then gained 4.
4. I have taught myself to draw little birds.
5. I have dabbled in poetry and prose.
6. I have learned how to write HTML only after CSS became the accepted language.
7. I have learned to walk with a walker, and then learned to walk without one again.
8. I have formed a friendship every bit as strong as any I'd ever formed in the meat world. (I love you, SouthernGal.)
9. I have gotten crushes on 5 different men on the fray, some of them married, one of them gay. But I don't care - my heart beats faster just reading their names.
Re: Since I Found The Fray
by Rat
09/02/2011, 11:53 PM #
1. George Bush was elected president by the Supreme Court
2. George Bush re-started my career in writing song parodies
3. My father died
4. I celebrated 10 of my 34 wedding anniversaries
5. I met a few Fraysters
6. I bought a house
7. There is no 11
Showing posts with label procrastination. Show all posts
Showing posts with label procrastination. Show all posts
09 August 2011
14 May 2010
Graduation Day
Graduation Day
by Archaeopteryx
05/14/2010, 2:29 PM #
Graduate list, Department of Biology
Brenda—Double major in biology and psychology. Married late last year, baby due at the end of the summer. Her husband’s accepted to law school in Ohio. She once passed out during a field trip in Ecology class.
Martin—Biology major, accepted to graduate school in forestry. His wife graduated from nursing school last year. He has five (not a typo) kids. This may explain why he doesn’t have a hair on his head. He’s here spending his GI Bill money—spent two tours in Iraq. He made every class he was in funnier and better.
Donna—Biology and Biochemistry double major. Still doesn’t know what she wants to be when she grows up. Her GPA and intelligence would get her into any med school or graduate school in the country, but she’s having fun waiting tables, and may well end up as the smartest high school teacher in whatever school is lucky enough to get her. I called her out once for falling asleep during one of my Comparative Anatomy lectures. Her response, “I’m Asian, my eyes always look like that, quit being racist.”
Matt—Quiet, goofy looking kid from the Mississippi Delta. Graduating with a 4.0 and a ticket punched to med school. Biology and Biochem double major. He spends considerable time trying to figure out how to be a good person and how to make the world a better place. Has gone on two church mission trips to Central American slums to help doctors give out free health care, although he doesn’t believe in God. Makes duck kabobs and brings them to departmental cookouts.
Rhonda—Matt's fiancée, also a 4.0, also a Biology and Biochem double major, also going to med school. She came to our university as a nursing major, and switched to pre-med at my suggestion. If I never accomplish anything else of value, I’m taking credit for that. Singlehandedly organized and ran the departmental Relay for Life team.
Drew—Biology major, got in pharmacy school despite being the star of the university baseball team. Led the team in home runs, RBI, and GPA.
Samantha—Biology major, magna cum laude. Accepted to pharmacy school. On the field biology trip last year, made breakfast each morning out of half a pop-tart, which may explain the fact that she’s about 4’6”. Writes better than any student I’ve ever had, talks like an extra from “Deliverance.”
Carmalita—Biology major, pre-med. Came on a basketball scholarship, graduated with a 3.6, despite missing half her classes during the season. Speaks with a thick Spanish accent, almost never talks in class or smiles. One of my crowning achievements as a professor was causing her to break up during Evolution class. Her parents came all the way from Puerto Rico to watch her graduate.
Will—Natural Science major. Barely passed enough classes to graduate—not too surprising since he sustained a major brain injury in a car accident his freshman year which made it very difficult for him to pay attention in class. He also was made deaf in one ear by the accident, but he never used it as an excuse, or asked for special treatment. He’s getting married in June to a girl who’s much too good-looking for him, and taking a job in Louisiana as an environmental specialist for the state. Quiet, but funny when he does finally decide to say something.
Benny—Natural Science major. He and his wife used my Field Biology trip to Costa Rica as their honeymoon, where he cracked everybody up by doing his wookie impression over a P.A. system on a public bus. He may be the skinniest human being alive. He’s going to work as a middle school science teacher.
Tina—Biology major, 3.8 GPA. She’s from Mississippi, and I never let her forget it. She once ran into me at the liquor store and never let me forget it. She’s going to Physical Therapy school in Jackson next year.
Latisha—Natural Science major. One of my favorite students ever. If she had spent as much time studying as she did trying to weasel her way out of completing assignments or writing papers, she’d be going to med school now. At graduation today, she introduced me to her mom (“Thanks for getting her through this.”), then hugged me so hard, we both nearly burst into tears. She’ll be teaching biology at a high school in the bad part of Houston next year. Her students may never understand how lucky they are.
That’s it. It’s a small school.
by Archaeopteryx
05/14/2010, 2:29 PM #
Graduate list, Department of Biology
Brenda—Double major in biology and psychology. Married late last year, baby due at the end of the summer. Her husband’s accepted to law school in Ohio. She once passed out during a field trip in Ecology class.
Martin—Biology major, accepted to graduate school in forestry. His wife graduated from nursing school last year. He has five (not a typo) kids. This may explain why he doesn’t have a hair on his head. He’s here spending his GI Bill money—spent two tours in Iraq. He made every class he was in funnier and better.
Donna—Biology and Biochemistry double major. Still doesn’t know what she wants to be when she grows up. Her GPA and intelligence would get her into any med school or graduate school in the country, but she’s having fun waiting tables, and may well end up as the smartest high school teacher in whatever school is lucky enough to get her. I called her out once for falling asleep during one of my Comparative Anatomy lectures. Her response, “I’m Asian, my eyes always look like that, quit being racist.”
Matt—Quiet, goofy looking kid from the Mississippi Delta. Graduating with a 4.0 and a ticket punched to med school. Biology and Biochem double major. He spends considerable time trying to figure out how to be a good person and how to make the world a better place. Has gone on two church mission trips to Central American slums to help doctors give out free health care, although he doesn’t believe in God. Makes duck kabobs and brings them to departmental cookouts.
Rhonda—Matt's fiancée, also a 4.0, also a Biology and Biochem double major, also going to med school. She came to our university as a nursing major, and switched to pre-med at my suggestion. If I never accomplish anything else of value, I’m taking credit for that. Singlehandedly organized and ran the departmental Relay for Life team.
Drew—Biology major, got in pharmacy school despite being the star of the university baseball team. Led the team in home runs, RBI, and GPA.
Samantha—Biology major, magna cum laude. Accepted to pharmacy school. On the field biology trip last year, made breakfast each morning out of half a pop-tart, which may explain the fact that she’s about 4’6”. Writes better than any student I’ve ever had, talks like an extra from “Deliverance.”
Carmalita—Biology major, pre-med. Came on a basketball scholarship, graduated with a 3.6, despite missing half her classes during the season. Speaks with a thick Spanish accent, almost never talks in class or smiles. One of my crowning achievements as a professor was causing her to break up during Evolution class. Her parents came all the way from Puerto Rico to watch her graduate.
Will—Natural Science major. Barely passed enough classes to graduate—not too surprising since he sustained a major brain injury in a car accident his freshman year which made it very difficult for him to pay attention in class. He also was made deaf in one ear by the accident, but he never used it as an excuse, or asked for special treatment. He’s getting married in June to a girl who’s much too good-looking for him, and taking a job in Louisiana as an environmental specialist for the state. Quiet, but funny when he does finally decide to say something.
Benny—Natural Science major. He and his wife used my Field Biology trip to Costa Rica as their honeymoon, where he cracked everybody up by doing his wookie impression over a P.A. system on a public bus. He may be the skinniest human being alive. He’s going to work as a middle school science teacher.
Tina—Biology major, 3.8 GPA. She’s from Mississippi, and I never let her forget it. She once ran into me at the liquor store and never let me forget it. She’s going to Physical Therapy school in Jackson next year.
Latisha—Natural Science major. One of my favorite students ever. If she had spent as much time studying as she did trying to weasel her way out of completing assignments or writing papers, she’d be going to med school now. At graduation today, she introduced me to her mom (“Thanks for getting her through this.”), then hugged me so hard, we both nearly burst into tears. She’ll be teaching biology at a high school in the bad part of Houston next year. Her students may never understand how lucky they are.
That’s it. It’s a small school.
11 April 2010
zbrodnia katyńska
zbrodnia katyńska
by Schmutzie
04/11/2010, 1:09 PM #
by Schmutzie
04/11/2010, 1:09 PM #
On September 1, 1939, just a week after the Molotv-Ribbentrop Pact, the Germans invaded Poland from the north, south and west. Both Britain and France had assured Poland that any aggression by Germany would be met with attacks by both of those countries against Germany. (Polish-British Common Defence Pact, Franco-Polish Military Alliance) Instead, Britain and France did essentially nothing to defend Poland, and that inactivity has come to be known as the Western Betrayal.
The Polish army retreaded to the east.
Two weeks later, on September 17, the Soviets came in from the east. When the dust had settled, Poland had been overrun, and the Germans and Soviets controlled the entire country.
The Soviets had rounded up something like 250,000 (estimates vary) military POWs in Poland, but had released around 200,000 almost immediately, those being Ukrainians and Belarusians. And so by March 1940 the Soviets held around 40,000 Polish military or "intelligentsia" POWs. These POWs were then "interviewed", the interview being essentially an audition to save your own life. If you were seen as something of a "nationalist" or a "counterrevolutionary"...you were sent to a camp in Ukraine or Belarus.
In March 1940, Levreniy Beria, prominent member (eventually head) of the Soviet secret police, the NKVD, sent a letter to Joseph Stalin suggesting that 26,000 or so Polish prisoners of war be executed. Beria argued that such action should be taken in order to deplete a future Polish army of leadership, although in addition to the Polish military officers and soldiers being held in Western Ukrainian and Belarusian prisons, Polish "itelligentsia" such as lawyers, doctors, authors. poets, writers, teachers, priests, and journalists were included in the list of those who were to be whacked.
Stalin agreed as did the Politburo.
The executions began in April, and took place simultaneously in prisons, camps, and in one case a forest.
The Katyn Forest lies about 12 miles west of Smolensk, Russia. It was there some of the 26,000 were taken, and shot. It is said that one man, Vasili Blokhin, of the NKVD, personally shot 6,000 men over the course of 28 days. The killings went on day and night, and they only took a break for May Day.
For a long time, the Soviet Union denied any "Katyn Massacre" ever took place. They covered it up, and then tried to blame the Nazis. In 1989 Russian scholars had dug up enough shit in the old archives to confirm the truth, and in 1990 Mikhail Gorbachev finally admitted that the atrocity had indeed taken place, and acknowledged the existence of two other mass grave sights, Mednoye and Piatykhatky.
The Katyn Massacre was a rallying cry for the Solidarity Movement. I have heard stories of the Katyn Massacre for years. Stories that make you want to fucking puke. Imagine Soviet soldiers lining up 3 or 4 Poles front to back, and shooting the man in front in an attempt to save bullets. 4th guy still standing? Well, he becomes the front man for the next stack.
The horror of Katyn is part of them. You need only say that one word, and faces grow very sad. It's like "Pearl Harbor" or "9/11" to Poles.
It was 70 years ago, and Katyn was the reason Polish President Lech Kaczyński and 96 others were flying to Smolensk. They were going to visit Katyn memorials.
Chicago has the largest population of Poles outside of Warsaw. Up on the northwest side, well, trust me, there are lots and lots and lots of Polish people living up here. In early May, on Constitution Day, these maniacs run up and down Milwaukee Avenue with their horns blowing and their flags waving. 5-6 people jammed into a sedan, and having a hell of a time just driving around waving that red and white flag with the eagle on it. You'd think a wedding was going by with all the horns, only they're just sitting at a stop light laying on the freaking horn. It's kinda cool to see. These cats know how to party, and they are proud of their heritage.
Back in 2000, at St. Adalbert Cemetery, about 5 blocks south on Milwaukee Avenue, a monument was erected to the victims of the Katyn Massacre. The work was done by a Chicago sculptor named Wojciech Seweryn. Serwyn's father was one of those murdered in Katyn Forest. Wojciech was one year old in 1940.
I stopped by St. Adalbert this morning, and paid my respects along with dozens of others. The Polish flags were at half mast, and there were flowers all around the base of the monument.Hundreds and hundreds of people had been coming since yesterday, not only to remember the 70th anniversary of the massacre, but to honor Wojciech Seweryn, who was also on that plane.
29 March 2010
Deconstructing Tim Burton's "Alice"
Deconstructing Tim Burton's "Alice"
by Inkberrow
03/29/2010, 12:19 PM #
is not easy to do, at least carefully. Saw the flick last night and boy do I love Helena Bonham-Carter, though not as much as Mr. Burton himself. Years ago, how many of us imagined being either Julian Sands striding purposefully across that Italian field in A Room With A View, or Ms. Bonham-Carter waiting for him? Even I did, and I was rooting all along for Daniel Day-Lewis as Mr. Vyse---he reminded me of someone.
Randomish observations:
----Tudor roses? Bonham-Carter's Red Queen visually----costumes, castle settings, hair---was deliberately made reminiscient of Elizabeth I. A brief shot of a family portait on the castle wall revealed a Henry VIII lookalike.
----Anne Hathaway's White Queen has no immediate allegorical analogue, but Johnny's Depp's Mad Hatter was portayed oddly enough as a stereotypical (Wonderland stereotypical) Scotsman (sorry Z-B), and almost all the other good and heroic characters reverted oddly to thick Scots accents when push came to shove. Hmmmm....
----The Wages of Colonial Empire a theme, then, as Elizabeth Red's warlike brutality is thankfully thwarted just in time? (Hey, who sent that Armada, anyway?) Our Alice, once back in Victorian England from Wonderland, pointedly rejects the stereotypically inbred prig of an English aristocrat who wants her, and opines boldly (and as it happens, prophetically!) about the vast oportunities respresented by trade and congress with.....China.
----Alice's father is named "Charles Kingsley". I didn't go to Wikipedia yet, but that's the name of the author of Westward Ho! and The Water Babies, children's lit classics for several generations but much less known today. I wonder if Kingsley was friends with Lewis Carroll, and Burton with Roman Polanski?
----Recalling say Joan of Arc and Pope Benedict's recent woes, is our modern-day Alice a hapless victim transformed (again) into another's uses? Not sure without checking---and maybe someone here knows---but I remember reading summat about Wonderland and rabbit-chasing being the real-life Carroll's elaborate, imaginative method of distracting and isolating a real-life teenaged Alice so that he could molest the object of his desires. "Drink me" and "Eat this" and hookah smoke thus had real-life analogues, a drugged girl being more pliant and less dangerous to Carroll before, during, and after his pleasure-taking.....
by Inkberrow
03/29/2010, 12:19 PM #
is not easy to do, at least carefully. Saw the flick last night and boy do I love Helena Bonham-Carter, though not as much as Mr. Burton himself. Years ago, how many of us imagined being either Julian Sands striding purposefully across that Italian field in A Room With A View, or Ms. Bonham-Carter waiting for him? Even I did, and I was rooting all along for Daniel Day-Lewis as Mr. Vyse---he reminded me of someone.
Randomish observations:
----Tudor roses? Bonham-Carter's Red Queen visually----costumes, castle settings, hair---was deliberately made reminiscient of Elizabeth I. A brief shot of a family portait on the castle wall revealed a Henry VIII lookalike.
----Anne Hathaway's White Queen has no immediate allegorical analogue, but Johnny's Depp's Mad Hatter was portayed oddly enough as a stereotypical (Wonderland stereotypical) Scotsman (sorry Z-B), and almost all the other good and heroic characters reverted oddly to thick Scots accents when push came to shove. Hmmmm....
----The Wages of Colonial Empire a theme, then, as Elizabeth Red's warlike brutality is thankfully thwarted just in time? (Hey, who sent that Armada, anyway?) Our Alice, once back in Victorian England from Wonderland, pointedly rejects the stereotypically inbred prig of an English aristocrat who wants her, and opines boldly (and as it happens, prophetically!) about the vast oportunities respresented by trade and congress with.....China.
----Alice's father is named "Charles Kingsley". I didn't go to Wikipedia yet, but that's the name of the author of Westward Ho! and The Water Babies, children's lit classics for several generations but much less known today. I wonder if Kingsley was friends with Lewis Carroll, and Burton with Roman Polanski?
----Recalling say Joan of Arc and Pope Benedict's recent woes, is our modern-day Alice a hapless victim transformed (again) into another's uses? Not sure without checking---and maybe someone here knows---but I remember reading summat about Wonderland and rabbit-chasing being the real-life Carroll's elaborate, imaginative method of distracting and isolating a real-life teenaged Alice so that he could molest the object of his desires. "Drink me" and "Eat this" and hookah smoke thus had real-life analogues, a drugged girl being more pliant and less dangerous to Carroll before, during, and after his pleasure-taking.....
15 March 2010
Mission Not Impossible
Mission Not Impossible
by Inkberrow
03/15/2010, 9:00 AM #
Another midrange Hollywood celebrity passes, this time Peter Graves. He deserves specific notice here in my view for two highly memorable film appearances bookending a memorable television series.
One couldn't get much farther apart than in subject-matter and tone than playing the German infiltrator in Stalag 17 and the all-too avuncular pilot in Airplane!.
I've probably watched every single episode of Mission: Impossible at least twice, including the first season with Steven Hill ("Good morning, Mr. Briggs") instead of Graves. Not surprisingly to many here, I'm sure, the show's Cold War and Clash of Cultures outlook resonated with me. Even the toughest Iron Curtain general was helpless before Barbara Bain's legs (that proved they were human just like us, only dumber and less happy and less free!). And the missions were decidedly less impossible right out of the gate, given the IMF's astonishing ability to materialize in or near the nerve center of whatever target, able to gain key introits to the principals without difficulty, unquestioned say as the new guard outside the committee chambers whom no one had ever seen before. Moreover, after a few dozen successful missions, any decent foreign intelligence service should have been able to keep everyone on the lookout for Barney, Cinnamon, and Rollin, eh? You know, Cinnamon, the fashion model and cover girl? But I loved it.
Good night, Mr. Phelps.
by Inkberrow
03/15/2010, 9:00 AM #
Another midrange Hollywood celebrity passes, this time Peter Graves. He deserves specific notice here in my view for two highly memorable film appearances bookending a memorable television series.
One couldn't get much farther apart than in subject-matter and tone than playing the German infiltrator in Stalag 17 and the all-too avuncular pilot in Airplane!.
I've probably watched every single episode of Mission: Impossible at least twice, including the first season with Steven Hill ("Good morning, Mr. Briggs") instead of Graves. Not surprisingly to many here, I'm sure, the show's Cold War and Clash of Cultures outlook resonated with me. Even the toughest Iron Curtain general was helpless before Barbara Bain's legs (that proved they were human just like us, only dumber and less happy and less free!). And the missions were decidedly less impossible right out of the gate, given the IMF's astonishing ability to materialize in or near the nerve center of whatever target, able to gain key introits to the principals without difficulty, unquestioned say as the new guard outside the committee chambers whom no one had ever seen before. Moreover, after a few dozen successful missions, any decent foreign intelligence service should have been able to keep everyone on the lookout for Barney, Cinnamon, and Rollin, eh? You know, Cinnamon, the fashion model and cover girl? But I loved it.
Good night, Mr. Phelps.
09 March 2010
Things I learned
Things I learned while reading the Fray
by Schmutzie
03/09/2010, 1:58 PM #
The moon landings were faked. NASA didn't have the proper TV equipment to send those pictures back to earth, the Van Allen Belt has lethal doses of radiation, radio waves couldn't make it from the moon back to earth in less that 47 hours, and boots couldn't make impressions in moon soil.
9/11 was an inside job. Not a terrorist attack. Mossad agents carried a few thousand tons of nanothermite into the towers for months in advance, used radio controlled drone airplanes, and remotely detonated the nanothermite in a brilliantly executed controlled demolition.The dust event proves it.
Pyramids were built not by Egyptians, but by angels.
God flooded the earth with a 6 week rainstorm, and 850 year old Noah squeezed 30,000,000 species of animals (x2) into a 300x50x30 cubit boat, with food.
The earth is one day older than the sun.
We are all descendants of Adam and Eve.
Dinosaurs and humans coexisted 6000 years ago, for a few weeks.
Jewish bankers are plotting to take over the world with the help of the Freemasons.
Blood is blue sometimes. Actually, dark bluish-red, but still sorta blue.
Candy Stripers are Registered Nurses.
It always comes back to The Painted Bird. (Bald Tony was right.)
Okay, I'm convinced. You can stop now.
by Schmutzie
03/09/2010, 1:58 PM #
The moon landings were faked. NASA didn't have the proper TV equipment to send those pictures back to earth, the Van Allen Belt has lethal doses of radiation, radio waves couldn't make it from the moon back to earth in less that 47 hours, and boots couldn't make impressions in moon soil.
9/11 was an inside job. Not a terrorist attack. Mossad agents carried a few thousand tons of nanothermite into the towers for months in advance, used radio controlled drone airplanes, and remotely detonated the nanothermite in a brilliantly executed controlled demolition.The dust event proves it.
Pyramids were built not by Egyptians, but by angels.
God flooded the earth with a 6 week rainstorm, and 850 year old Noah squeezed 30,000,000 species of animals (x2) into a 300x50x30 cubit boat, with food.
The earth is one day older than the sun.
We are all descendants of Adam and Eve.
Dinosaurs and humans coexisted 6000 years ago, for a few weeks.
Jewish bankers are plotting to take over the world with the help of the Freemasons.
Blood is blue sometimes. Actually, dark bluish-red, but still sorta blue.
Candy Stripers are Registered Nurses.
It always comes back to The Painted Bird. (Bald Tony was right.)
Okay, I'm convinced. You can stop now.
23 January 2010
"Flaming Posse"
"Flaming Posse"
by Schmutzie
01/23/2010, 3:33 PM #
A screenplay by Schmutzie.
Directed by Alan Smithee.
Setting- Fairplay, Colorado. The year is 1867.
Cast-
Davey- A lonely poet who lives in the hills. Married 9 times, Davey is growing increasingly dissatisfied with the women in his life.
Deanna- An elderly divorced school teacher who spends her days teaching creative writing to the children of the town in a one-room schoolhouse. At night, she goes to the Spittoon Saloon and flirts with men. She has a fondness for Civil War veterans.
Dr. Archie O'Donnelly- One of Colorado's leading scientists. A recently released book by a man named Darwin has changed Archie's life. He finds himself ostracized by the Church of Fairplay, and he has come under attack by the local preacher during his Sunday sermons.
Father Joey Vittles XII- The 12th Vittles to serve as Fairplay's preacher, Joey teaches the people of Fairplay that the Holy Bible is the one true word, and that anyone who disagrees with him will be struck down with smallpox, then the plague, then rickets, then scurvy, and then finally he says, "You will burn in hell!"
Judge Frank Early- A man who has very little patience for the people of Fairplay, whom he sees mainly as a bunch of rubes. He dispenses justice with a fair hand, and spends his off hours hunting the elusive coyotes.Hangin' Frank they call him, and it is said that he once sentenced a man to 60 days for farting in court. Frank likes to go commando under his robe.
Myra Deepwell- A crusader for justice who dispenses free legal advice. Deepwell's efforts in cases like Deepwell v Illinois in 1873, and later her appeal to the US Supreme Court pave the way for women lawyers everywhere. Despite losing both cases, she presses on and becomes the first woman admitted to Illinois bar in 1892, before moving back to Fairplay where she eventually is elected Mayor. She enjoys riding horses and playing something she calls "lawn tennis," a sport she discovered while traveling on the Continent.
Marshall Ike Darrow- A wry sort of man, with a quick gun and quicker wit. He doesn't enjoy the killin', but his skill has forced him into the job. He'd rather out-argue than outdraw, but the local cemetery is littered with the corpses of those who chose to draw down on him. He used to work at the gypsum mill, and his paper on desulfurization caused a change in the industry. Ike grew bored with gypsum, and took up law enforcement after selling the copyrights to his gypsum deselfulization paper to Henry Bryan, owner of a small Minnesota mining company.
Jimmy Laredo- An old, dimwitted, pot-bellied gunslinger who has seen better days. Once the 317th fastest gun in Texas, he now spends most of his days eating beef jerky, and his nights flirting with Deanna at the Spittoon. He hates Marshall Darrow, and has sworn he's going to gun him down. Jimmy hasn't seen his penis nor his toes in 15 years, and his XXXXL gun-belt was custom made by the local saddle maker.
Jenny Laredo- Jimmy's wife.
Western Belle- The local madam. Belle runs an honest brothel, and makes a pretty penny on the side playing cards with the drunks at the Spittoon. She has recently emptied the pockets of Jimmy with a royal flush to his pair of threes. She knew he was bluffing the whole time.
Morning Dove- Formerly one of Belle's girls, who traded her black lace garters for a pair of overalls. Dove is the the first woman west of the Mississippi to own 4000 acres, and spends most of her time raising horses. Recently wed, Dove is a no-nonsense type, who will kick a man in the balls if he calls he "darlin'"
Dr. Jay- The Fairplay physician and Morning Dove's husband. The townfolk call him Rambunctious J. He specializes in treating gunshot wounds, but also believes that the "human mind is capable of amazing healing power." Davey the lonely poet likes to throw rocks through Dr. Jay's office windows out of spite and envy. (Davey longs for the attention of Morning Dove.)
Michael Masterson- A Civil War vet who carries with him dark memories of the conflict. He longs for peace and quiet, and lives in a ranch on the outside of town with his wife. He is the object of Deanna's almost obsessive attention, but wants no part of that. He is a married man, who is faithful to his wife. To him, honesty is everything.
Helen- A deeply disturbed woman who lives in a small cabin with 13 cats. The only time Helen comes out of her cabin is to shout obscenities at the passing stagecoach.
Tupelo Tom- A transplant from Mississippi who runs the local eatery. His recipe for flank steak is kept in a strong box in Marshall Darrow's office. Tom is a deeply spiritual man, who believes in tolerance of all faiths, and is therefore hated by Joey Vittles XII. Vittles has condemned Tupelo Tom to hell, which caused Tom to pray for Joey Vittles.
Keistus- The Fairplay blacksmith. A man with the power to crush a human skull with his bare hands, but who uses his power for good. Keistus lives with his wife and daughters, and enjoys trips to the seashore. Since the seashore is 2 weeks away by coach, Keistus looks forward to his first train ride on the newly laid Overland Route.
Nomo Isonista- A latin beauty who writes for the Fairplay Fair Player. Her 5 part series on outdoor living and recreation won the Colorado Outdoor Living and Recreation Award for outstanding writing. Nomo loves her family, travels extensively, and enjoys swimming in the nude. Her moonshine is said to be useful for removing rust from wagon wheel axles.
Smithers- A local farmer who built a log cabin using only his hands. His tomatoes are much sought after, and it is said that the hemp dungarees he makes can also be used as heating fuel. Once a year the entire town of Fairplay (except for Jimmy Laredo who has never been invited) puts on their finest and turns up at Smithers' cabin for "BLT Day." Smithers serves up what he calls "Bacon, Lettuce & Tomato sandwiches" and mason jars full of Isonista's moonshine before the big square dance. It's always the event of the year.
Lobo- A transplant from the Arizona Territory. Nobody knows much about Lobo, although he has an abiding love of his country and looks forward to trips into the mountains with his family. He had an eye shot out in the Mexican-American War and was an original signer of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.
Monducmo- The bartender and owner of the Spittoon. Keeps a sawed off shotgun under the counter. Never cuts his booze. Once was asked the difference between whiskey and whisky to which he replied "Whiskey is Hibernian and whisky is hibernating in Scotland. Have an Irish whiskey here, or have a whisky there."
Seamus O'Dublin- Writer and cooper. His barrels are said to be the finest on earth, and he ships butter churns, hogsheads, firskins, rundlets and puncheons to places as far away as China and Johannesburg. Quality is his trademark, and it is said that he will smash a hogshead if it's off by so much as a quarter of an imperial gallon. His writing is his passion along with his family, and woe to any man who threatens either. Legend holds that he once held a hungry wolverine at bay for two days using a single barrel stave,.. at one point in the standoff his father sipped a pint of Guinness and asked "What's taking so long? This procrastination is postively criminal ya gobshite. Kill the damned thing and let's eat!"
Other characters-
Tartan Tim- The editor of the Fairplay Fair Player
Shocked Quartz- One of Belle's girls.
Heartful Gold- Another of Belle's girls.
Brilliant Blondie- Golden haired owner of the dry goods store.
Thank Goddness- One of Ike's trusted deputees.
Don Toronto- Transplanted Canadian fur trapper
Elizabeth "Bitty" Tweet- Author and part-time bouncer at the Spittoon.
Jackson Dee- One armed lawyer who defends horse thieves and cattle rustlers.
Dr. Nome- Fairplay dentist, Alaskan transplant who left in protest of Seward's Folly.
Sorvus- Stagecoach driver
Simon Freud- Fairplay treasurer, and poker dealer at the Spittoon.
Schmalz- The town carpenter
"Flaming Posse"
Act I- A dark, run down cabin on the hill. Davey looks into a broken mirror.
Davey- I hate you.
(Davey puts a gun to his head and pulls the trigger. The gun misfires. Davey begins crying.)
Act II- Late night at the Spittoon. Smoke filled room. Keistus is playing rags on an old upright piano with several missing keys.
Jimmy Laredo- I'm tellin' ya Lincoln had it comin'! Next thing ya know them darkies'll be a votin'. Hiya hot britches. What's yer name?
Monducmo- You ever going to pay yer tab Jimmy?
Jimmy- My wife has all my money. I'll get you next time. C'mere Deanna. Anyone ever tell you that you've got beautiful eyes?
Deanna- Oh Jimmy. You are such a gentleman. How about you do that thing for me tonight?
Jimmy- If I told ya once I told ya a hunnert times, I don't do that.
(Deanna walks away dejected. Ike Darrow enters. Jimmy stares at him with fire in his eyes.)
Ike- (sniffing the air)- I swear Jimmy, if I didn't know better I'd think we were in the midst of a desulfurization run. Dear god man, don't you ever bathe?
Jimmy- I took me a bath on Monday you rascal. If I wasn't wearin' my Sunday go-to-meetin' pants I'd take you outside and teach you a thing or two.
(Jenny Laredo enters the bar and sees her slovenly husband flirting with Deanna. She runs out crying.)
Jimmy (to Deanna)- Aw don't worry 'bout that one. She'll get over it. I keep her fed n' watered. I'm a fine upstandin' husband by my definition. Gimme a kiss honey...uh, you did gargle right?
(Jimmy sees Ike turn away and, intending to shoot the Marshall in the back reaches for his gun. His arms can't reach that far, and his fingers dangle at his side a good 8 inches from his holster.)
(Seeing this in the mirror behind Monducmo, Ike wheels around and draws his Colt.)
(Jimmy pisses his pants, a smelly yellow pool forming between his boots. Keistus stops playing and, expecting a shootout, dives behind the piano.)
Ike- Seem to be coming up a bit short there Jimmy. Why don't you back away real slowly, and I won't shoot you full the dense, ductile, very malleable element known as lead.
Jimmy- Huh?
(Ike smiles and walks up to the bar. He sits down on one of the fine oak O'Dublin bar stools.)
Ike- Whiskey if you please, and send one to the carpenter over in the corner.
(Monnducmo delivers the whiskey to Schmalz, and tells him it's from Ike. Schmalz looks over at Ike and nods his appreciation. They hoist their glasses and toast from across the room.)
To be continued....
by Schmutzie
01/23/2010, 3:33 PM #
A screenplay by Schmutzie.
Directed by Alan Smithee.
Setting- Fairplay, Colorado. The year is 1867.
Cast-
Davey- A lonely poet who lives in the hills. Married 9 times, Davey is growing increasingly dissatisfied with the women in his life.
Deanna- An elderly divorced school teacher who spends her days teaching creative writing to the children of the town in a one-room schoolhouse. At night, she goes to the Spittoon Saloon and flirts with men. She has a fondness for Civil War veterans.
Dr. Archie O'Donnelly- One of Colorado's leading scientists. A recently released book by a man named Darwin has changed Archie's life. He finds himself ostracized by the Church of Fairplay, and he has come under attack by the local preacher during his Sunday sermons.
Father Joey Vittles XII- The 12th Vittles to serve as Fairplay's preacher, Joey teaches the people of Fairplay that the Holy Bible is the one true word, and that anyone who disagrees with him will be struck down with smallpox, then the plague, then rickets, then scurvy, and then finally he says, "You will burn in hell!"
Judge Frank Early- A man who has very little patience for the people of Fairplay, whom he sees mainly as a bunch of rubes. He dispenses justice with a fair hand, and spends his off hours hunting the elusive coyotes.Hangin' Frank they call him, and it is said that he once sentenced a man to 60 days for farting in court. Frank likes to go commando under his robe.
Myra Deepwell- A crusader for justice who dispenses free legal advice. Deepwell's efforts in cases like Deepwell v Illinois in 1873, and later her appeal to the US Supreme Court pave the way for women lawyers everywhere. Despite losing both cases, she presses on and becomes the first woman admitted to Illinois bar in 1892, before moving back to Fairplay where she eventually is elected Mayor. She enjoys riding horses and playing something she calls "lawn tennis," a sport she discovered while traveling on the Continent.
Marshall Ike Darrow- A wry sort of man, with a quick gun and quicker wit. He doesn't enjoy the killin', but his skill has forced him into the job. He'd rather out-argue than outdraw, but the local cemetery is littered with the corpses of those who chose to draw down on him. He used to work at the gypsum mill, and his paper on desulfurization caused a change in the industry. Ike grew bored with gypsum, and took up law enforcement after selling the copyrights to his gypsum deselfulization paper to Henry Bryan, owner of a small Minnesota mining company.
Jimmy Laredo- An old, dimwitted, pot-bellied gunslinger who has seen better days. Once the 317th fastest gun in Texas, he now spends most of his days eating beef jerky, and his nights flirting with Deanna at the Spittoon. He hates Marshall Darrow, and has sworn he's going to gun him down. Jimmy hasn't seen his penis nor his toes in 15 years, and his XXXXL gun-belt was custom made by the local saddle maker.
Jenny Laredo- Jimmy's wife.
Western Belle- The local madam. Belle runs an honest brothel, and makes a pretty penny on the side playing cards with the drunks at the Spittoon. She has recently emptied the pockets of Jimmy with a royal flush to his pair of threes. She knew he was bluffing the whole time.
Morning Dove- Formerly one of Belle's girls, who traded her black lace garters for a pair of overalls. Dove is the the first woman west of the Mississippi to own 4000 acres, and spends most of her time raising horses. Recently wed, Dove is a no-nonsense type, who will kick a man in the balls if he calls he "darlin'"
Dr. Jay- The Fairplay physician and Morning Dove's husband. The townfolk call him Rambunctious J. He specializes in treating gunshot wounds, but also believes that the "human mind is capable of amazing healing power." Davey the lonely poet likes to throw rocks through Dr. Jay's office windows out of spite and envy. (Davey longs for the attention of Morning Dove.)
Michael Masterson- A Civil War vet who carries with him dark memories of the conflict. He longs for peace and quiet, and lives in a ranch on the outside of town with his wife. He is the object of Deanna's almost obsessive attention, but wants no part of that. He is a married man, who is faithful to his wife. To him, honesty is everything.
Helen- A deeply disturbed woman who lives in a small cabin with 13 cats. The only time Helen comes out of her cabin is to shout obscenities at the passing stagecoach.
Tupelo Tom- A transplant from Mississippi who runs the local eatery. His recipe for flank steak is kept in a strong box in Marshall Darrow's office. Tom is a deeply spiritual man, who believes in tolerance of all faiths, and is therefore hated by Joey Vittles XII. Vittles has condemned Tupelo Tom to hell, which caused Tom to pray for Joey Vittles.
Keistus- The Fairplay blacksmith. A man with the power to crush a human skull with his bare hands, but who uses his power for good. Keistus lives with his wife and daughters, and enjoys trips to the seashore. Since the seashore is 2 weeks away by coach, Keistus looks forward to his first train ride on the newly laid Overland Route.
Nomo Isonista- A latin beauty who writes for the Fairplay Fair Player. Her 5 part series on outdoor living and recreation won the Colorado Outdoor Living and Recreation Award for outstanding writing. Nomo loves her family, travels extensively, and enjoys swimming in the nude. Her moonshine is said to be useful for removing rust from wagon wheel axles.
Smithers- A local farmer who built a log cabin using only his hands. His tomatoes are much sought after, and it is said that the hemp dungarees he makes can also be used as heating fuel. Once a year the entire town of Fairplay (except for Jimmy Laredo who has never been invited) puts on their finest and turns up at Smithers' cabin for "BLT Day." Smithers serves up what he calls "Bacon, Lettuce & Tomato sandwiches" and mason jars full of Isonista's moonshine before the big square dance. It's always the event of the year.
Lobo- A transplant from the Arizona Territory. Nobody knows much about Lobo, although he has an abiding love of his country and looks forward to trips into the mountains with his family. He had an eye shot out in the Mexican-American War and was an original signer of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.
Monducmo- The bartender and owner of the Spittoon. Keeps a sawed off shotgun under the counter. Never cuts his booze. Once was asked the difference between whiskey and whisky to which he replied "Whiskey is Hibernian and whisky is hibernating in Scotland. Have an Irish whiskey here, or have a whisky there."
Seamus O'Dublin- Writer and cooper. His barrels are said to be the finest on earth, and he ships butter churns, hogsheads, firskins, rundlets and puncheons to places as far away as China and Johannesburg. Quality is his trademark, and it is said that he will smash a hogshead if it's off by so much as a quarter of an imperial gallon. His writing is his passion along with his family, and woe to any man who threatens either. Legend holds that he once held a hungry wolverine at bay for two days using a single barrel stave,.. at one point in the standoff his father sipped a pint of Guinness and asked "What's taking so long? This procrastination is postively criminal ya gobshite. Kill the damned thing and let's eat!"
Other characters-
Tartan Tim- The editor of the Fairplay Fair Player
Shocked Quartz- One of Belle's girls.
Heartful Gold- Another of Belle's girls.
Brilliant Blondie- Golden haired owner of the dry goods store.
Thank Goddness- One of Ike's trusted deputees.
Don Toronto- Transplanted Canadian fur trapper
Elizabeth "Bitty" Tweet- Author and part-time bouncer at the Spittoon.
Jackson Dee- One armed lawyer who defends horse thieves and cattle rustlers.
Dr. Nome- Fairplay dentist, Alaskan transplant who left in protest of Seward's Folly.
Sorvus- Stagecoach driver
Simon Freud- Fairplay treasurer, and poker dealer at the Spittoon.
Schmalz- The town carpenter
"Flaming Posse"
Act I- A dark, run down cabin on the hill. Davey looks into a broken mirror.
Davey- I hate you.
(Davey puts a gun to his head and pulls the trigger. The gun misfires. Davey begins crying.)
Act II- Late night at the Spittoon. Smoke filled room. Keistus is playing rags on an old upright piano with several missing keys.
Jimmy Laredo- I'm tellin' ya Lincoln had it comin'! Next thing ya know them darkies'll be a votin'. Hiya hot britches. What's yer name?
Monducmo- You ever going to pay yer tab Jimmy?
Jimmy- My wife has all my money. I'll get you next time. C'mere Deanna. Anyone ever tell you that you've got beautiful eyes?
Deanna- Oh Jimmy. You are such a gentleman. How about you do that thing for me tonight?
Jimmy- If I told ya once I told ya a hunnert times, I don't do that.
(Deanna walks away dejected. Ike Darrow enters. Jimmy stares at him with fire in his eyes.)
Ike- (sniffing the air)- I swear Jimmy, if I didn't know better I'd think we were in the midst of a desulfurization run. Dear god man, don't you ever bathe?
Jimmy- I took me a bath on Monday you rascal. If I wasn't wearin' my Sunday go-to-meetin' pants I'd take you outside and teach you a thing or two.
(Jenny Laredo enters the bar and sees her slovenly husband flirting with Deanna. She runs out crying.)
Jimmy (to Deanna)- Aw don't worry 'bout that one. She'll get over it. I keep her fed n' watered. I'm a fine upstandin' husband by my definition. Gimme a kiss honey...uh, you did gargle right?
(Jimmy sees Ike turn away and, intending to shoot the Marshall in the back reaches for his gun. His arms can't reach that far, and his fingers dangle at his side a good 8 inches from his holster.)
(Seeing this in the mirror behind Monducmo, Ike wheels around and draws his Colt.)
(Jimmy pisses his pants, a smelly yellow pool forming between his boots. Keistus stops playing and, expecting a shootout, dives behind the piano.)
Ike- Seem to be coming up a bit short there Jimmy. Why don't you back away real slowly, and I won't shoot you full the dense, ductile, very malleable element known as lead.
Jimmy- Huh?
(Ike smiles and walks up to the bar. He sits down on one of the fine oak O'Dublin bar stools.)
Ike- Whiskey if you please, and send one to the carpenter over in the corner.
(Monnducmo delivers the whiskey to Schmalz, and tells him it's from Ike. Schmalz looks over at Ike and nods his appreciation. They hoist their glasses and toast from across the room.)
To be continued....
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